Sunday, June 5, 2011

Getting Unstuck, Finding Real Faith

Lately, in one of my jobs in life, being the person everybody calls when they don't know what else to do,(which I don't mind, by the way), I have noticed a definite trend.  So many people are getting scared about a large variety of things, some real and close to home, some halfway imaginary and far away, that they are becoming absolutely stuck, and can't figure out what to do next (about almost everything).

Obviously, I have  alot of solid Christian friends and relatives, but I also have a lot of non-Christian friends and relatives, and, quite frankly, the only difference I'm seeing between the two groups is a difference in rhetoric.  One group gives me various degrees of  "Life Sucks and then You Die."...The other is all about "God is good, God has a purpose in all this, God will see us through", etc.  But neither group seems capable of figuring out the next move.

You know it is one thing to say the Christian words, and quite another to truly believe, deep down, that everything is going to be okay.  The thing is, as much as I do believe, I have never personally experienced a situation where God just threw down money or handed me a job without my going out to look for one.  (Not saying he wouldn't be capable of that, just saying it isn't the way he usually works on my behalf.)

So the question is, how does one get unstuck?  How does one get over the fear of the unknown and figure out how to take the next step?  How does one make that decision, especially if that next step is something scary, like letting your house go back to the bank so you can move on to the next stage of your life?

Since my son Sam never minds me talking about him (unlike a couple of his siblings), I'm going to use our recent interaction as an example.  Sam has been stuck, stuck, stuck lately.  He had a series of difficult situations to get through, battling cancer and then winding up bankrupt due to medical expenses, and he wound up broke and living at home, unemployed.  He came very close to getting his dream job a few months ago, and when it didn't come through, he got into this rut that I'm seeing a lot of other folks in right now....a rut where it is much easier to just sit there and whine about the economy than it is to keep on trying.

The other day we had a talk about how to get out of a his case, I'm encouraging him to go back and start taking some college credits again, one class at a time..(He was close to his degree when everything started to hit the fan, and now would like to finally finish it...)  In addition, he needs to just start handing out the resumes matter how discouraging it may seem. The bottom line is, he has to do something, even if he isn't sure what that is!  He will not find a job, or finish his degree, or find more friends, or ultimately create a family of his own, as long as he sits in this house having philosophical discussions with his mother!

In my work as an appraiser, I'm seeing many situations these days where people's lives have gone up in smoke, losing their homes to foreclosure. In many of these houses, you can just feel the anger...people who said to themselves (and I'm guessing to many other people!) ....Ok, you can take my house, but first I"m taking the stove and the dishwasher and all the ceiling fans, and I think I'll just make a few holes in the walls while I'm at it, and maybe I'll take all the copper piping and rip out the tile in the bathrooms....Then the other day I went into a foreclosed home and you could still feel the love in that home.  The wallpaper on the children's rooms were still intact, the house had been carefully cleaned up when the family left, and the stove and the dishwasher were still in place.  I don't know where that family is today, but I know that the attitude they had in the face of economic troubles will serve them well as they figure out the next step. And I'm willing to bet that God really will be with that family, and will not let them starve.

If you're having troubles, or feel like you're in a rut, just make up your mind to move beyond the "God is good" rhetoric and start really trusting him!!!  Then wake up tomorrow and figure out one good thing to do to start moving in a better direction.  As usual, I'm partly speaking to myself here.  This morning, I had two good things to was to write this blog, and the other was to clean up the patio area...a disgusting job for early on a Sunday morning, but one that had to be done, and now it makes me feel good. Instead of looking out on a winter's worth of debris, I'm looking out on a nice clean patio.

One of my favorite quotes is from an old Amish lady..."Do ye now next thing."....And then the next, and the next, and the next, and one day you will wake up and you will have gotten out of your rut and your difficult situation.  Of course, life is a series of difficult situations, so part of the exercise is understanding that this is LIFE...and part of it is learning to have a good time in the midst of the difficulties.  So, once again, RELAX...and don't just SAY you're trusting God, really trust God to show you what to do, one step at a time.


  1. Awesome post!!!! Once again, thank you!!!

  2. I just discovered your blog after reading your article about mentoring young homeschooling moms. Thank you for that article - I so agree that new homeschooling moms need to hear the message that homeschooling doesn't require expensive classes and a hectic schedule. But especially thank you for this blog post that is just what I needed to read.

  3. I have been stuck too, and although situations in my life are not all "fine, just fine", I have been able to let God give me peace in the midst of storms mostly through working really hard on it! At one point a few years ago I was just so afraid, I could see the financial disaster coming around the bend and no way of escape. As a long long term Christian homeschooling woman I know that panic is not the answer. We were doing a 12 step christian recovery Bible study at our Celebrate Recovery (is it ok to admit that my life is not perfect?) and I chose to focus my recovery work on that spirit of fear and my helplessness. Using the thousands of scriptures and writing my thoughts, sharing them every week with my group of women and praying for each other , and them praying for me, getting one on one ministry and I am so thankful. I kicked that spirit of fear out, and though it has taken several years, we are now out of debt, except for two houses, and still in business, still here, with some situations still being worked out. My kids are ok, I'm still homeschooling my youngest and God is providing. I could easily have lost it all and I WOULD have if I had done nothing. It took tons of work with two mortgage companies for a year with one house and almost two with our home we live in but they did give us grace and skipped payments and reset the interest rate.
    I had to ask for help, be willing to do the work and trust God for the answer.
    Sometimes I worry that other homeschool moms will not reach out for help because we're supposed to somehow have it all together regardless of the everyday troubles that we all experience. And isolation is such a bad thing for us. We need to teach our children that help is on the way!

  4. I think one of my personal goals with all the work I do with homeschoolers is to free people up to admit they do not have it all together; they are not at all like that mythical family on the cover of the homeschooling mags, and it is perfectly OK to be human and have imperfect kids! (As long as you don't just give up...gotta keep reaching for that mark!!!)