Remembering other people and times on Memorial Day

This Memorial Day weekend I'm having trouble keeping myself cheerful because, compared to other times of my life, especially when I was surrounded by little children, I feel so alone....Yet, tucked down deep in my heart are so many memories of other places and other times. When I feel all alone, I know that I'm not really alone, since God is there, and since all these other loved ones are still deep inside and have become part of me, as I have become part of them. I also know that the day is coming, fairly soon, when I will once again be surrounded by a community, as ARCHERs proceeds with its plans for developing a rural conference center.  Today, though, I will have to be content with my plans, as well as my memories.

To start with, there was my father, a veteran of World War II, a casualty of the Great Depression, who never really found himself after all he went through...Still, I know I got a lot of my intelligence and curiosity from him, and, in a round about way, I even developed a lot of my spirituality through him, even if it was just noticing the mistakes he made along the way.  I can still see him walking up a ladder with two piles of shingles on either shoulder.  He has been gone from earth for almost 40 years, but his presence is still with me every day.  So glad I was able to forgive him long ago....or the memories would have ruined my life instead of helping me grow.

Three years ago, my mother died...Wish I could be up there at her grave this weekend putting flowers on it, but I can't run up to Wisconsin whenever I feel like it, especially with gas prices what they are.  She will always be a part of me, the little voice inside my head that keeps me on track, both encouraging me and telling me when I am messing up. Most of my personal strength comes from knowing that I  came from a line of strong women, starting with her mother, who raised five children (and lost 3 others) in a house with no indoor plumbing or electricity, up in northern Wisconsin where heat is not exactly optional...I think of my grandmother every time I go out to garden.  I have the privilege of doing it for fun, and not worrying about who gets to eat it, me or the rabbits.  If her garden didn't grow, her family starved.

When I think of my own mother, I am so grateful that I didn't let minor things, like her disapproval of our homeschooling, or her efforts to prevent me from publishing a particular book, get in the way of our continued relationship. It would have been so easy to just get angry and turn away sometimes...but we both persevered and manage to retrieve our joy, despite several angry and hurtful moments.  In the end, we parted the best of friends, the kind of friendship that can only develop out of the early mother-daughter relationship.

More than anything, this Memorial weekend, I am missing my daughters.  I'm used to having kids run off to places like Korea and Thailand, but before this it was always for a limited time.  Now my youngest daughter has left to get married in England, and there is no guarantee she will ever again live nearby.  My oldest daughter is now living in Portland, Oregon, but in two weeks we get to see each other in Virginia at the home of a friend....sure looking forward to that! 

As women, we find that we are always going into or out of some phase, and always needing to reinvent ourselves.  I believe women do that much better than men, and are capable of being flexible and going with the flow more than men, too.  In order to be happy for Laura, I have to once again reinvent myself.  Up to this point, I have been out of the country three times. Once was when I was 12, and went on a trip with my drill team up to Canada.  The second time was a trip to Kenya to speak at a homeschool conference, and the third time was a trip to Korea to see my kids who lived there and to speak at a large workshop.  They were all fun times, but they all seemed like aberrations, way outside my comfort zone.  Now I have to actually become a world traveler.  Next year, I have two trips scheduled, one to Thailand to see my son who works at an international school, and one to England to attend Laura's wedding.  

I know I'm just rambling today....but I wanted to thank all the dear ones I've mentioned, as well as the people I don't even remember, who have influenced my life and touched me all these years.  I wish I could be with every one of you this weekend, but instead I will have to hold your memories in my heart and make some plans to look forward to, while doing a good job at whatever God puts in my hands today.

Have a good Memorial Day with your friends and families!  For all you homeschooling moms out there, enjoy the time together with your little ones...the best times of your life are the ones you are going through right now, even if it does feel overwhelming at times!

Rabbits and squirrels and deer...oh my.

It's gardening time again in the deep south.  Just went to "customer appreciation day" at Pike's Nursery and came back with three new rose bushes to plant.  I've always loved gardening, but I could have done without the little rabbit sitting there looking right at me while I was setting my new little tomato plants and eggplants over by the garden. I'm surprised he waited until I got in the house to chow down.

Last year the deer got my corn, the raccoons took the tomatoes and watermelons every time one got ripe, the squirrels dug up my corn (while I was planting it) and the rabbits ate all the beans. I got one pepper and a couple of eggplants to eat out of an entire summer of getting up early to water. 

What does this have to with education, which is usually the point of this blog?  Just this....I can't get angry at the little critters, and, in fact, am purposely planting the food knowing they are going to eat it. Why?  Because I read one too many books about little animals and gardens, both when I was a child and when my kids were little...from Beatrix Potter to Thornton Burgess to Robert Lawson...these authors affected me more than almost any other experiences in my life.

Read to your kids....its a whole lot more lasting than anything else that might look more educational...and while you are at it, plant a garden this spring....Even if you, like me, wind up getting very little food out of it, you will learn an immense amount just by having the experience of digging in the dirt. 

Saluting all single moms (or those temporarily single)

Today I'm saluting all of you who are either single moms or feel like it sometimes when your husband is away....This past year my husband has been away a lot...right now I'm going on four days here by myself.  Even though my kids are grown, three of them are here right now.  There is just so much to do that it can't possibly get done.  I feel like I just keep running from store to home to work and never have a single moment to myself!  This morning, for example, I got up and went downstairs and one of the dogs had "done his thing"  on the new tile floor my son and I just finished laying.  So I wound up not only cleaning that, but the entire downstairs plus the bathroom before I had even done my exercises or eaten breakfast. Of course by then the dogs and cat were all starving and they had to be fed before I could eat, and then some phone calls came in, and then my son needed to talk to me, so it wound up being about three hours into my day before I had the time to eat a bowl of cereal.

I don't have any great words of wisdom for y'all...I'm just appreciating your struggles right now. I will say that it has been important to me to celebrate my own little successes rather than focusing on what is not getting done...It would have been tempting to come back up after cleaning the whole downstairs and start beating myself up about the upstairs being a mess. But I chose to enjoy the clean downstairs for awhile instead.

Anyway, my hats are off to those of you who have to do this all the time...keep your priorities straight and try to stay balanced...and don't hesitate to ask others for help when you need it!

What are you attached to?

This week I am blogging a day early. Tomorrow I leave for two days in the wilds of Mississippi, on our tree farm in Webster County, far, far away from the reach of cell phones and computers!  Of course, I always enjoy times like this, because I am a true nature girl.  Other than always loving the out-of-doors, one of the reasons I am a nature girl is because I learn so much from being around animals and plants.

This morning, I went out to water my rose garden.  I was greeted by one of the most amazing and intricate spider webs I've ever seen.  The dew was sparkling in the early morning, and it was just SOOO pretty!  For about one second.  Because, unfortunately, the spider had attached it to the hose reel, and the minute I turned it, it was destroyed in an instant.

You have to be careful what you allow yourself to become attached to!  Attaching to something that is easily moved is not a particularly good idea, as this spider found out this morning. So what are you attached to today?

-Those who are attached to material possessions can find them gone in an instant, like many of our friends and neighbors here in the southland, following the tornado outbreak of a couple of days ago...
-Those who are attached to their IRAs and stock portfolios can find them gone in an instant in the next crash.
-Those who are attached to their good looks can find outward beauty fleeting as they get older.
-Those who are attached to a particular group of friends can find that friends get busy and move away
-Those who are attached to their persona as a homeschooling mom will someday find that even those children grow up and move away, and the persona has to change or wither away! (I may be talking to myself here!)
-But those who are firmly attached to Jesus and to the principles of the Bible, will find that their anchor is 100% immovable, regardless of tornadoes or stock market crashes, or accidents, or illnesses, or growing older, or watching as friends and families leave to follow their own dreams.

Don't be like that spider!  Be careful to attach yourself to something permanent! 

Celebrating Holidays

This Easter weekend is the first one ever when I haven't bought any candy, haven't decorated any eggs, and don't have the Easter baskets out!  Kind of sad, in a way...but kids do grow up, and we're just in that window of time when no grandchildren are around yet...and at some point it seems a little silly to be hiding the baskets, which was always our tradition...As the kids got older it became more and more of a challenge to find places they couldn't find right away.  I think they finally got tired of it the day I had to hide one of them in the ceiling tiles downstairs in order to provide the right level of challenge!

Both Easter and Christmas are obviously religious holidays to those of us who are Christians, but they have also been secularized to some extent, and there are all kinds of disagreements these days.  The public schools have mostly succeeded in replacing Easter vacation, which we had when I was a child, with "Spring Break", which often isn't even at the same time as Easter.  Now they are trying to change "Christmas Vacation" to "Winter Break"....(Watch and see if it doesn't wind up being in January every year instead of Christmas soon...Then the school kids will only get a long weekend off at Christmas, and even more traditions will be threatened by those whose kids remain in the school system.)

There are also those Christians who don't believe in celebrating Easter with little bunnies and colored eggs, and who want to stay away from Santa Claus,too.  There are even those who stress that Christmas developed out of a pagan holiday and think we should avoid it altogether.

Here's my opinion, for what it is worth.  As far as Christmas goes, it has always been a time for families to gather, to remember the story of Bethlehem, and develop family traditions.  I have trouble seeing what is wrong with that.  Of course, we all have to watch out that Christmas doesn't become one giant "to do" list, where huge amounts of debt are accrued in order to provide for every single possible "want", turning it into a greed fest, and making the mom so busy she can't remember what she's supposed to be celebrating.  Still, we had fun with the Santa Claus idea when the children were little. However, we were very careful to always be sure the kids realized that he was fanciful and fun and FAKE, while Jesus was a real, historical figure, who is very much alive and real today. 

Easter, too, was celebrated with the eggs and bunnies at our house, but the children were always reminded that those were symbols of new life, celebrated at the beginning of new life in nature around us, and rooted in the reality of the new life we all receive because Jesus was raised up to new life on that day.  If others want to debate and criticize, it is up to them, but it was always sort of simple and non-political in our house.  My role models, my mom, my grandmother, and my aunt, were simple women, strong women, who cared most of all about their families and didn't get caught up in the arguments that no doubt swirled around them, since there are always people who want to argue about something.  I hope to be that role model, myself, as I get older. I can't wait to have some grandchildren myself so the house will once again be filled with squeals of glee and the type of excitement that can only be generated with a houseful of small children! Enjoy it while you can, young moms....You'll miss it someday!

Drama Camp!

We have just confirmed we have the location for our drama camp...It is in Paulding Co., GA, in the general vicinity of the intersection of highway 120 and highway 92 (eastern Paulding co.).  The dates are July 5-15. It is 2 weeks, for about four hours a day, with a performance Fri night the  15th.  It is meant for ages 10-14; younger kids can only participate if a parent remains. There is also a place for older teens to volunteer.  There are a couple of paid staff positions available, a few slots for volunteers, and 25 slots for paid participants ($175).  The focus will not be on putting on a play per se...it will be a variety, including improvisation, mime, monologues, audition preparation, stage makeup, sets and props, etc.  Lots of Fun!!  Contact me at mary.e.hood@gmail.com for more information.

For those who are far away and drooling...Remember our goal is to be able to plant programs all across the United States (I love being grandiose!).  We used to do this camp all the time when it was actually me directing...this will be the first time we're putting it on with others in staff positions...As soon as we figure out how to do it right this way, we will be open to the idea of sponsoring programs in other areas.  Just stay in touch.

One of our goals is to turn this into a "trailer theatre".. I was involved in one of these in eighth grade. We spent the first part of the summer learning about all aspects of theatre and preparing a play, then spent the second half presenting it at various venues throughout the city of Milwaukee, mostly parks and playgrounds.  Our vision is to do it at summer Bible camps at the churches....

P.S. It is my husband's birthday today!  And Laura is busy planning her wedding. (My first to get engaged...)  Life is good!

Planning New Programs is always Exciting!

This week at our Board of Directors meeting, we are going to put the finishing touches on planning a Drama Camp at a nice location in the country with a little lake...It will be in early July, for ages 10-14. It has been awhile since I've been in on the planning process for this type of educational program.  It really feels good to be creating something that I know will be a wonderful experience for the children who get to participate. It's something I've been missing in recent years, ever since we shut down the flagship resource center in Kennesaw in order to expand into a national organization.

This reminds me of the early days at our first resource center in the strip mall in Acworth...Do any of you remember those first few programs?  When we first began, I taught an algebra class with only three students, including one of my own kids...by the time we ended, I usually had full classes of 16 kids, plus a waiting list.  Sometimes it takes awhile to build things up....This is a lesson I'm really having to learn again right now.  We want desperately to plant new resource centers, to assist others in starting ARCHERS support groups, to find new venues for me to speak about relaxed homeschooling, and, most of all, to finally get the land we've been wanting to create a permanent conference & workshop center in a rural setting...We are starting to see some results, but everything is just taking so darn long!

Did you ever notice that the number one reason people give for not homeschooling their children is that they "aren't patient enough"?  You know, patience is a fruit of the spirit...so when a lack of patience is an issue, it needs to be addressed spiritually.  The problem is that right now, I just want to pick some of those fruit and throw them at something.  I guess being frustrated is just part of what we have to wrestle with as human beings....I know if my mom was here, she'd tell me, "Be a little easier on yourself. Everything doesn't have to happen right this minute!  Give it some time!"  So I guess I'll try to listen. But just so you know, right now I don't feel like an elder statesman of the homeschool movement, or even particularly like a mature Christian.  I guess for now, one program this summer will have to suffice...the rest will develop when it is God's timing.  BUT...(insert stomping of foot), "BUT I WANT IT NOW!!!"