Ever since January 1, at "New Year's Resolution" time, I've been mulling over the interrelation between goals and habits. It seems to me that goals, even when a person is highly motivated, rarely come to fruition unless habits are cultivated that consistently move a person in the direction of his goals or dreams.
For example, I have had the habit of doing about ten minutes of flexibility exercises every morning ever since I was about fifteen years old. It has become such a habit that I do it when I am on the road, in a hotel or even in a stranger's house. When I absolutely can't do it, like just after surgery last month, I have an internal breakdown, sort of like Mr. Monk or Sheldon Cooper, except I can control the external part. When people ask me what my "secret" is...why I seem a lot younger than I actually am, I give these flexibility exercises almost complete credit..in addition to God's blessings and good genes!
In the summertime, I also have developed a habit of going running (or, in my case, walking fast while bouncing up and down)...In the summer, this has become such a habit that it is a rare day that passes without my getting exercise. However, when the summer passes, and there isn't enough light to run early in the morning, my habit has to shift. Every year, I vow that I will continue to run sometime in the afternoon, but that has always turned out to be too vague. "Sometime in the afternoon" doesn't become a habit and I typically put on a good ten pounds over the winter as a result of not following through.
Similarly, concerning healthy eating, I have a habit of eating a nutritious breakfast of cereal and fruit, having a mid-morning snack of granola and/or yogurt, and eating a light, healthy lunch of soup or salad. Then, starting about 3:00, I rampage through the kitchen eating every thing isn't nailed down.
Why do I do this? Why do I sabotage everything else I do that is healthy for me by continuing this behavior? It is because our supper hour has become unpredictable, for reasons having to do with my husband's work, and sometimes my own work interferes, too. Without a clear-cut supper hour, I haven't been able to establish a healthy afternoon snacking ritual...hence the uncontrolled eating between 3 and supper.
This blog is another example. When I first started, I decided to form a habit of writing it once a week when I first get up on Sundays. I did this for awhile, but it hadn't been long enough to really create a habit. Then one Sunday I was on the road...and another Sunday we had company over...and another Sunday I decided I needed to get out and garden...you get the picture. At some point, my weekly blog has apparently become a bi-yearly blog. So the question now is, will my motivation be high enough to re-create a habit that will lead to regularity? Or will this be the last one you see for another six months?
Frankly, I don't know! What I do know is that goals are very important in order to keep your life moving in the direction you want it to go. They are important for adults and they are just as important for your teenagers as they move towards their adult lives. I discuss this quite a bit in a couple of my cds, and urge parents to think through (and write down) their goals for their children in the following areas: values, habits, attitudes, skills, talents, and knowledge. As the kids get old enough to set their own goals, the homeschooling process should become more and more a collaborative effort.
However, as I repeatedly teach myself through my own actions, goals have little chance of being achieved unless a plan is created and habits are developed that will consistently provide the mechanism for reaching those goals. So whether your goal is healthy eating, weight control, preparing for a career, getting out of debt, or purchasing your first house (remember, I am a realtor now...heh,heh)...make sure you create the habits you need to reach your dreams!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Setting Our Own Agenda, Learning to Say No
Recently I've been spending a lot more time with younger homeschooling families and observing the way the moms conduct their business, and interact with their kids. It has been a joy to get to spend time with the children and the younger homeschooling moms, but one thing has stood out for me while watching them go about their daily lives.
Homeschooling moms have a really hard time saying, "No".
The world tends to look at these mothers and see someone who has a lot of time to kill, since they are "just" staying at home all day with the kids.
Their church tends to think that they have lots of time to devote to ministerial duties.
Their homeschooling groups and co-ops tend to think they have time to coordinate, plan, and teach classes for other kids, "since they are going to be there, anyway".
Their neighbors and friends tend to think they have time to babysit a few extra kids and/or run some extra errands, because "they don't have a job"...
I've met some moms who have successfully fended off all these extra requests, and other moms who just can't seem to say, "No", and mean it. Part of our problem is that we have all internalized this idea that we are Christian women, who have to put everybody else's concerns ahead of our own...to be of service to all that we encounter.
But our first level of ministry has to be our own family!
No matter what stage of life a woman is in, she has to be able to set her own agenda, and say, "This is all I have time to do. Sorry, but my cup already runneth over...." This is hard to do when the church secretary "just needs one little favor", or the neighbor down the street "can't pick up her child today at school." It takes practice. If you have trouble, stand in front of your mirror and pretend you are a two year old. "No....No....No....NOOOOOOOO!"
It is still important to maintain my own agenda at this point in my life. In one week, I leave for England for my daughter's wedding. I decided several weeks ago that the week prior to the trip, I was not going to work at my appraisal job, and warned my supervisor in plenty of time.
Yesterday, I spent over an hour on the phone with him. Apparently, if I don't accept at least two appraisals this month, he will go out of business! I like my supervisor, but I must say, he is a master manipulator. He told me that it was likely that he wouldn't have any work for me when I get back if I didn't help him this week. He asked me, "Does it really take you a week to do your laundry?" (After all, laundry is the only thing I have to accomplish this week....to prepare for a two week trip out of the country, including a wedding and a backpacking trip to Scotland..really?.)
He said to me, "It must be nice to have the luxury to not have to work"....(how many times did I hear that one while I was homeschooling!), and then followed it up with, "Do you really need to have a vacation in order to prepare for your vacation".
Luckily, I have learned this lesson. MY AGENDA. MY DECISION. Is there a time for flexibility? Yes, of course. But it is MY DECISION when to be flexible!!! So I listened politely, commiserated with him about his problems with the business, and then said, once again, NO. I will not do any appraisals this week. I am getting ready for my daughter's wedding!
Remember, you can't be any good to anyone else if you get yourself all out of whack! And always, always, always, your first ministry is to your own family. Don't let anything, even church work or outside ministry, stop you from taking good care of yourself and your kids. And learn to say, politely and firmly, "NO."
Homeschooling moms have a really hard time saying, "No".
The world tends to look at these mothers and see someone who has a lot of time to kill, since they are "just" staying at home all day with the kids.
Their church tends to think that they have lots of time to devote to ministerial duties.
Their homeschooling groups and co-ops tend to think they have time to coordinate, plan, and teach classes for other kids, "since they are going to be there, anyway".
Their neighbors and friends tend to think they have time to babysit a few extra kids and/or run some extra errands, because "they don't have a job"...
I've met some moms who have successfully fended off all these extra requests, and other moms who just can't seem to say, "No", and mean it. Part of our problem is that we have all internalized this idea that we are Christian women, who have to put everybody else's concerns ahead of our own...to be of service to all that we encounter.
But our first level of ministry has to be our own family!
No matter what stage of life a woman is in, she has to be able to set her own agenda, and say, "This is all I have time to do. Sorry, but my cup already runneth over...." This is hard to do when the church secretary "just needs one little favor", or the neighbor down the street "can't pick up her child today at school." It takes practice. If you have trouble, stand in front of your mirror and pretend you are a two year old. "No....No....No....NOOOOOOOO!"
It is still important to maintain my own agenda at this point in my life. In one week, I leave for England for my daughter's wedding. I decided several weeks ago that the week prior to the trip, I was not going to work at my appraisal job, and warned my supervisor in plenty of time.
Yesterday, I spent over an hour on the phone with him. Apparently, if I don't accept at least two appraisals this month, he will go out of business! I like my supervisor, but I must say, he is a master manipulator. He told me that it was likely that he wouldn't have any work for me when I get back if I didn't help him this week. He asked me, "Does it really take you a week to do your laundry?" (After all, laundry is the only thing I have to accomplish this week....to prepare for a two week trip out of the country, including a wedding and a backpacking trip to Scotland..really?.)
He said to me, "It must be nice to have the luxury to not have to work"....(how many times did I hear that one while I was homeschooling!), and then followed it up with, "Do you really need to have a vacation in order to prepare for your vacation".
Luckily, I have learned this lesson. MY AGENDA. MY DECISION. Is there a time for flexibility? Yes, of course. But it is MY DECISION when to be flexible!!! So I listened politely, commiserated with him about his problems with the business, and then said, once again, NO. I will not do any appraisals this week. I am getting ready for my daughter's wedding!
Remember, you can't be any good to anyone else if you get yourself all out of whack! And always, always, always, your first ministry is to your own family. Don't let anything, even church work or outside ministry, stop you from taking good care of yourself and your kids. And learn to say, politely and firmly, "NO."
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Re-Inventing Ourselves
It is 6:23 a.m on a Sunday morning. If all has gone well with her travels, my daughter, Laura, is standing on English soil, beginning her new life. In two months she will be marrying a British citizen, and is planning on establishing dual citizenship.
Only those of you who are mothers can imagine how or why I am feeling so empty and alone right now. After all, my daughter is happy! She is exactly where she wants and needs to be.
For some reason, which I've never exactly been able to analyze, most of my very best friends over the years have been men, rather than women. At this point, turning to one of these good friends would be completely pointless. All I would get would be odd looks and platitudes..."But she is 25 years old. Why would you even want to live together anymore? She's doing what she is supposed to be doing."
And my personal favorite, "Now that all your children are grown up, you're free to do whatever you want to do."
Except what I really want to do is still be a homeschooling mother.
I've often said in my workshops that homeschooling moms have to be careful to avoid setting themselves up for the worst empty nest syndrome in the world. I followed all my own advice over the years, preparing myself, getting credentials so I could have meaningful work and ministry to do, but I never realized exactly how hard all of this was going to be.
However, as hard as all of this has been for me, I think it is ten times harder for my husband. There is something inherently tough in women, that makes us flexible and able to re-invent ourselves from time to time. The mere fact that we allow ourselves to feel our emotions also helps us to deal with them. Yes, there are tears streaming down my cheeks as I'm writing this. But at the same time, I'm feeling Laura's joy at reuniting with her beloved Rich.
And I know that I will find a way to re-invent myself, because that's what we women do. In my husband's mind, I know that he feels like he has just lost his daughter. He simply can't suddenly envision himself as a world traveller. Men just have a harder time with these kinds of shifts.
On the other hand, I know that I will now simply have my world expanded. I've never liked flying that much, and I especially don't like flying over large oceans, but now my fears will have to be put to rest, because I simply can't sit here in the United States and never see my own daughter. Men tend to say, "There just isn't any money for a plane ticket." Women tend to say, " I don't care what I have to do, or sell, or change in my life....my child needs me to come over there once in awhile and so I will find the money."
In the unlikely scenario there are actually any men reading this blog, this flexibility is something you really need to work on. And it wouldn't hurt some of you to learn how to cry once in awhile!
But I know most of you reading this are women...and you understand exactly what I'm feeling like this morning...or you will someday, if you haven't already gotten to this point in your life.
So, once again, it is time to reinvent myself. A lot of you are younger moms....and you have only recently re-invented yourselves into your image of a homeschooling mother...a few of my readers are much younger, recent graduates of homeschooling programs, who are just now re-inventing yourselves as adults, with responsible jobs, and homes. You know how important it is to be flexible and able to go with the flow.
Anyway, here I am world...I'm now a homeschooling mom emeritus. A real estate professional who needs to make some serious money.. The head of a homeschooling community, who needs to find the time to minister and reach out to share with younger moms. A gardener and "putterer about the house" who needs to find the time to get lost in projects without little children around to distract me. A runner and serious hiker who needs to prepare for a trip on the Appalachian trail. A mountain biker. A world traveller, who will finally get to see Europe, using my new British relatives as a stopping-off point. And hopefully, someday in the not-too-distant future, a grandmother.
Even though, right now, every one of those things has a bit of a hollow ring, I know that I will grow to enjoy this time of my life. Transitions are the hardest, as those of you who have gone through childbirth can attest to. And the worst part of all of this is I can't even call my mom to talk to her about it, because she died four years ago. So now I'm the mom...the one my grown up children will call for help and encouragement...and I'd better get my act back together pretty quickly, because I desperately want to be the counselor, and not the counselee
So, my favorite quote once comes back into play...from an old Amish woman..."do ye now next thing"...and we are the only ones who can figure out what that means for each of us. For me, right now, it means, "feed the dogs"...because a woman's work is never done, even when her children leave home!
Only those of you who are mothers can imagine how or why I am feeling so empty and alone right now. After all, my daughter is happy! She is exactly where she wants and needs to be.
For some reason, which I've never exactly been able to analyze, most of my very best friends over the years have been men, rather than women. At this point, turning to one of these good friends would be completely pointless. All I would get would be odd looks and platitudes..."But she is 25 years old. Why would you even want to live together anymore? She's doing what she is supposed to be doing."
And my personal favorite, "Now that all your children are grown up, you're free to do whatever you want to do."
Except what I really want to do is still be a homeschooling mother.
I've often said in my workshops that homeschooling moms have to be careful to avoid setting themselves up for the worst empty nest syndrome in the world. I followed all my own advice over the years, preparing myself, getting credentials so I could have meaningful work and ministry to do, but I never realized exactly how hard all of this was going to be.
However, as hard as all of this has been for me, I think it is ten times harder for my husband. There is something inherently tough in women, that makes us flexible and able to re-invent ourselves from time to time. The mere fact that we allow ourselves to feel our emotions also helps us to deal with them. Yes, there are tears streaming down my cheeks as I'm writing this. But at the same time, I'm feeling Laura's joy at reuniting with her beloved Rich.
And I know that I will find a way to re-invent myself, because that's what we women do. In my husband's mind, I know that he feels like he has just lost his daughter. He simply can't suddenly envision himself as a world traveller. Men just have a harder time with these kinds of shifts.
On the other hand, I know that I will now simply have my world expanded. I've never liked flying that much, and I especially don't like flying over large oceans, but now my fears will have to be put to rest, because I simply can't sit here in the United States and never see my own daughter. Men tend to say, "There just isn't any money for a plane ticket." Women tend to say, " I don't care what I have to do, or sell, or change in my life....my child needs me to come over there once in awhile and so I will find the money."
In the unlikely scenario there are actually any men reading this blog, this flexibility is something you really need to work on. And it wouldn't hurt some of you to learn how to cry once in awhile!
But I know most of you reading this are women...and you understand exactly what I'm feeling like this morning...or you will someday, if you haven't already gotten to this point in your life.
So, once again, it is time to reinvent myself. A lot of you are younger moms....and you have only recently re-invented yourselves into your image of a homeschooling mother...a few of my readers are much younger, recent graduates of homeschooling programs, who are just now re-inventing yourselves as adults, with responsible jobs, and homes. You know how important it is to be flexible and able to go with the flow.
Anyway, here I am world...I'm now a homeschooling mom emeritus. A real estate professional who needs to make some serious money.. The head of a homeschooling community, who needs to find the time to minister and reach out to share with younger moms. A gardener and "putterer about the house" who needs to find the time to get lost in projects without little children around to distract me. A runner and serious hiker who needs to prepare for a trip on the Appalachian trail. A mountain biker. A world traveller, who will finally get to see Europe, using my new British relatives as a stopping-off point. And hopefully, someday in the not-too-distant future, a grandmother.
Even though, right now, every one of those things has a bit of a hollow ring, I know that I will grow to enjoy this time of my life. Transitions are the hardest, as those of you who have gone through childbirth can attest to. And the worst part of all of this is I can't even call my mom to talk to her about it, because she died four years ago. So now I'm the mom...the one my grown up children will call for help and encouragement...and I'd better get my act back together pretty quickly, because I desperately want to be the counselor, and not the counselee
So, my favorite quote once comes back into play...from an old Amish woman..."do ye now next thing"...and we are the only ones who can figure out what that means for each of us. For me, right now, it means, "feed the dogs"...because a woman's work is never done, even when her children leave home!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Returning to Tybee Island
Hi...I'm writing this morning from Savannah, GA, one of my favorite places to visit. We're down here (Roy, me, and our daughter Laura, who is about to get married and move to England), for a mini-break. In a few minutes we'll be headed to Tybee Island, to see the lighthouse (again!) and go to the beach for the rest of the day.
This reminds me of a weekend we once spent here as part of our "Georgia History Adventures" programs for ARCHERS. Back when we had the resource center in Kennesaw, GA, this was one of our most popular programs. We met once a month to learn about Georgia history and prep for the field trip of the month, and then went together to some Georgia historical site Of course, being Georgia, a lot of them were Civil War-related, but Savannah is known as the birthplace of Georgia. Naturally, the Indians might take exception with that, but this is where Oglethorpe established the colony of Georgia and there are many historical sites here, as well as a history museum, walking tours, carriage rides, and riverboat tours. Since those mostly cost a lot of money, we just usually walk around the squares ourselves. Today is the birthday of Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of Girl Scouts, and her home is here, so there will be a gadzillion girl scouts all over Savannah, which is partly why we're going to Tybee Island today!
One of my many dreams for ARCHERS is to own a house down here on Tybee, where homeschoolers can rent a place for cheap to have vacations. Many some day we'll have a whole string of vacation cabins for you all to enjoy!
In the meantime, consider starting your own version of "(Your State) history adventures. One of my upcoming columns in The Old Schoolhouse magazine is about incorporating excitement into your studies of history. I think it will be in the April issue.
Gotta go find some seashells and a new dolphin windchime for my front porch. Hope you are all having a great Sunday!
This reminds me of a weekend we once spent here as part of our "Georgia History Adventures" programs for ARCHERS. Back when we had the resource center in Kennesaw, GA, this was one of our most popular programs. We met once a month to learn about Georgia history and prep for the field trip of the month, and then went together to some Georgia historical site Of course, being Georgia, a lot of them were Civil War-related, but Savannah is known as the birthplace of Georgia. Naturally, the Indians might take exception with that, but this is where Oglethorpe established the colony of Georgia and there are many historical sites here, as well as a history museum, walking tours, carriage rides, and riverboat tours. Since those mostly cost a lot of money, we just usually walk around the squares ourselves. Today is the birthday of Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of Girl Scouts, and her home is here, so there will be a gadzillion girl scouts all over Savannah, which is partly why we're going to Tybee Island today!
One of my many dreams for ARCHERS is to own a house down here on Tybee, where homeschoolers can rent a place for cheap to have vacations. Many some day we'll have a whole string of vacation cabins for you all to enjoy!
In the meantime, consider starting your own version of "(Your State) history adventures. One of my upcoming columns in The Old Schoolhouse magazine is about incorporating excitement into your studies of history. I think it will be in the April issue.
Gotta go find some seashells and a new dolphin windchime for my front porch. Hope you are all having a great Sunday!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
How to Start Your Day
This morning, the first thing I did, which is my custom, was to read a little bit of something inspirational. The book that I picked up this time is "The Power of Positive Living" by Norman Vincent Peale. (This is not the one he is best known for, "The Power of Positive Thinking".) This one he wrote nearer the end of his long life, and it is filled with what I would term "old fashioned common sense".
One of the things he was talking about was his recollection of the days during the Great Depression, when everyone was walking around New York City being fearful and filled with anxiety and depression of a more personal nature. He mentioned how some of the "gloom and doom" people were saying that the United States would never rise again.
Since I just blogged about some of the economic problems we are likely to be facing in the near future, I felt that this time I wanted to focus more on the positive thinking solutions we all need to be focusing on.
After finishing my morning's reading, I went on to the next item, which was letting the dogs out to do their thing. While doing that, I have formed that habit of remaining outside, swinging my arms a bit, and taking deep breaths to get my circulation going for the day and breathe in some fresh air and encouragement. Some mornings I have a beautiful sunrise to greet me. Other times it may be a little gray, but there is always fresh air and the sound of birds (and barking).
The last time I was in Portland to visit my daughter, there was an Asian man in the park doing his morning "slow" exercises in the Oriental tradition. One of them was circling his arms. It looked like he was "pumping himself up" for the day, and that is what started me doing something similar in the out-of-doors in the mornings.
This morning, I spontaneously began saying some things while I was consciously breathing in and out to replenish my fresh air. I guess I figured I might as well replenish my attitude at the same time.
"I'm breathing in faith, I'm breathing out fear....I'm breathing in enthusiasm, I'm breathing out discouragement....I'm breathing in health, I'm breathing out disease...I'm breathing in power, I'm breathing out inadequacy." It quickly became an exercise in thinking of opposites."
I know that most of you who read my blogs are mothers. When the children are little it is hard to remember to take time to replenish your own inner strengths. But you've got to remember that if you don't have power, or faith, or health, it is much harder to send your children out into the world each morning (or to start the day together, if you are homeschoolers) with the right attitude.
In my cd, "How to Avoid Being a Mommy Martyr", I talk about the importance of attending to your own needs. When you have unmet needs yourself, it is almost impossible to meet the needs of your children, or anyone else for that matter. In workshops, I've often stated that the mother's real role is being the emotional heart of the family.
When your husband comes in a little out of sorts, or the kids are having an argument, I've found that if the mother remains calm, everything eventually settles back down. However, when it is the mother who is just a little crazed, it doesn't matter what the general mood of the family is, because everything will start going down hill.
So I encourage all you moms out there to consider how you are beginning your day. Are you making the time for a little quiet time? A little inspirational and/or Bible reading? A few minutes for prayer? A time for some exercise or a little fresh air outside? You are not being selfish by taking the time to fill up your own reserves of health and power....you need them to make the rest of your day productive and happy!
It's not even 8:00 this morning and I've already had my inspirational reading, done my exercises, breathed in some fresh air and written this blog. Now I can go make some breakfast and greet our overnight guests. The only thing that would have been different back when I was homeschooling is that I would have had a baby nursing while I was writing this, and I would have told my older kids a few times to go back to their rooms and I'd let them know when I was ready to deal with them. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you have to be a mommy martyr!
Have a great day, today and every day!
One of the things he was talking about was his recollection of the days during the Great Depression, when everyone was walking around New York City being fearful and filled with anxiety and depression of a more personal nature. He mentioned how some of the "gloom and doom" people were saying that the United States would never rise again.
Since I just blogged about some of the economic problems we are likely to be facing in the near future, I felt that this time I wanted to focus more on the positive thinking solutions we all need to be focusing on.
After finishing my morning's reading, I went on to the next item, which was letting the dogs out to do their thing. While doing that, I have formed that habit of remaining outside, swinging my arms a bit, and taking deep breaths to get my circulation going for the day and breathe in some fresh air and encouragement. Some mornings I have a beautiful sunrise to greet me. Other times it may be a little gray, but there is always fresh air and the sound of birds (and barking).
The last time I was in Portland to visit my daughter, there was an Asian man in the park doing his morning "slow" exercises in the Oriental tradition. One of them was circling his arms. It looked like he was "pumping himself up" for the day, and that is what started me doing something similar in the out-of-doors in the mornings.
This morning, I spontaneously began saying some things while I was consciously breathing in and out to replenish my fresh air. I guess I figured I might as well replenish my attitude at the same time.
"I'm breathing in faith, I'm breathing out fear....I'm breathing in enthusiasm, I'm breathing out discouragement....I'm breathing in health, I'm breathing out disease...I'm breathing in power, I'm breathing out inadequacy." It quickly became an exercise in thinking of opposites."
I know that most of you who read my blogs are mothers. When the children are little it is hard to remember to take time to replenish your own inner strengths. But you've got to remember that if you don't have power, or faith, or health, it is much harder to send your children out into the world each morning (or to start the day together, if you are homeschoolers) with the right attitude.
In my cd, "How to Avoid Being a Mommy Martyr", I talk about the importance of attending to your own needs. When you have unmet needs yourself, it is almost impossible to meet the needs of your children, or anyone else for that matter. In workshops, I've often stated that the mother's real role is being the emotional heart of the family.
When your husband comes in a little out of sorts, or the kids are having an argument, I've found that if the mother remains calm, everything eventually settles back down. However, when it is the mother who is just a little crazed, it doesn't matter what the general mood of the family is, because everything will start going down hill.
So I encourage all you moms out there to consider how you are beginning your day. Are you making the time for a little quiet time? A little inspirational and/or Bible reading? A few minutes for prayer? A time for some exercise or a little fresh air outside? You are not being selfish by taking the time to fill up your own reserves of health and power....you need them to make the rest of your day productive and happy!
It's not even 8:00 this morning and I've already had my inspirational reading, done my exercises, breathed in some fresh air and written this blog. Now I can go make some breakfast and greet our overnight guests. The only thing that would have been different back when I was homeschooling is that I would have had a baby nursing while I was writing this, and I would have told my older kids a few times to go back to their rooms and I'd let them know when I was ready to deal with them. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you have to be a mommy martyr!
Have a great day, today and every day!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Blame Our Educational System, not Obama
Today I was watching the Weather Channel, and they were talking about the rising prices of gas. One of the meteorologists asked, somewhat bewildered, "Why are all the prices for gas and food going up?" (I raised my hand, but nobody called on me.)
People have been trying to blame the rise in food costs on the weather, which is partly responsible...But the old "supply and demand" paradigm is failing people when it comes to gas prices because it appears to some that the demand for gas is decreasing, (which isn't true on an international level), yet the price is going up.
It really is so simple. The U.S. has been printing money like it is going out of style. There isn't enough room here to talk about why that is. It isn't Obama's fault, although his administration certainly hasn't helped the situation. Yet very few people seem to realize the gravity of the situation.
There are basically four things that could be done right now in this country. The first is to declare a Year of Jubilee like the Bible tells us to do. That would solve everything, but it isn't going to happen unless we have a massive revival first. (A year of Jubilee would wipe out all debt across the board, thereby stopping the exponential curve in its tracks and fixing everything. God knew the exponential curve would lead to economic chaos every few generations, so that is undoubtedly why he gave us this command).
The second possibility would be to allow the U.S. to default on its loans, which would likely lead to economic and social chaos. The powers that be won't ever agree to that, in my opinion. The third is to begin confiscating private wealth and go completely socialist. The current adminstration would probably like to do that, but, again, it would create chaos, and possibly lead to revolution, so, again, not likely. The fourth is to keep printing money to cover the explosive debt. This is what is being done.
This always always always always leads to hyperinflation. We are starting to see it in the grocery stores and at the gas pumps, but this is only the beginning. Remember the early 80s, with 15% interest on mortgages and cds? That was tame compared to what is coming. This is not an opinion, it is fact. Economic laws will always prevail, unless God's laws (i.e. the year of Jubilee, in this case) are substituted.
Anyway, my main point is this. Be sure to include economic education and education in personal finance in your homeschooling efforts....the lack of that in the school system has lead to complete economic illiteracy, not just among the populace, but also in most of our elected officials and even in their advisors. Almost every problem I see in this country is the result of poor education and general illiteracy in the majority of the population (and even some homeschoolers).
Whatever the results of the elections will be this fall, this problem is not going to go away simply because a different group of people takes charge. One of the ways you can recognize economic illiteracy is when people point their fingers at one man or one party, and say, "They are the ones responsible"...No. Economic laws are responsible. Failure to listen to God is responsible. Failure to observe the time of Jubilee is responsible. We are all responsible, because for too many years Christians and other responsible citizens refused to recognize the slide downwards that our education system was taking. Either that, or they recognized it and ignored/complained about it without taking action.
Most of you are the exceptions. However, please don't take "relaxed" (being relaxed and family-oriented) to mean "don't educate your children"....Without a return to cultural and economic and political literacy in this country, we are going to go the way of the Roman Empire, the Greek Empire, the British Empire, and every other one that has risen to great heights, only to slide into oblivion.
This post isn't meant to frighten....except maybe to jolt people into realizing everybody better start learning and noticing what is going on, because knowledge is the first step to power! If you want to know where to start, on a personal level, I know of no better place to begin than to read some of Dave Ramsey's work. (Not a paid ad....:) Then, if you don't know what the heck an exponential curve is or what I'm talking about, exercise your research skills and learn about it!
People have been trying to blame the rise in food costs on the weather, which is partly responsible...But the old "supply and demand" paradigm is failing people when it comes to gas prices because it appears to some that the demand for gas is decreasing, (which isn't true on an international level), yet the price is going up.
It really is so simple. The U.S. has been printing money like it is going out of style. There isn't enough room here to talk about why that is. It isn't Obama's fault, although his administration certainly hasn't helped the situation. Yet very few people seem to realize the gravity of the situation.
There are basically four things that could be done right now in this country. The first is to declare a Year of Jubilee like the Bible tells us to do. That would solve everything, but it isn't going to happen unless we have a massive revival first. (A year of Jubilee would wipe out all debt across the board, thereby stopping the exponential curve in its tracks and fixing everything. God knew the exponential curve would lead to economic chaos every few generations, so that is undoubtedly why he gave us this command).
The second possibility would be to allow the U.S. to default on its loans, which would likely lead to economic and social chaos. The powers that be won't ever agree to that, in my opinion. The third is to begin confiscating private wealth and go completely socialist. The current adminstration would probably like to do that, but, again, it would create chaos, and possibly lead to revolution, so, again, not likely. The fourth is to keep printing money to cover the explosive debt. This is what is being done.
This always always always always leads to hyperinflation. We are starting to see it in the grocery stores and at the gas pumps, but this is only the beginning. Remember the early 80s, with 15% interest on mortgages and cds? That was tame compared to what is coming. This is not an opinion, it is fact. Economic laws will always prevail, unless God's laws (i.e. the year of Jubilee, in this case) are substituted.
Anyway, my main point is this. Be sure to include economic education and education in personal finance in your homeschooling efforts....the lack of that in the school system has lead to complete economic illiteracy, not just among the populace, but also in most of our elected officials and even in their advisors. Almost every problem I see in this country is the result of poor education and general illiteracy in the majority of the population (and even some homeschoolers).
Whatever the results of the elections will be this fall, this problem is not going to go away simply because a different group of people takes charge. One of the ways you can recognize economic illiteracy is when people point their fingers at one man or one party, and say, "They are the ones responsible"...No. Economic laws are responsible. Failure to listen to God is responsible. Failure to observe the time of Jubilee is responsible. We are all responsible, because for too many years Christians and other responsible citizens refused to recognize the slide downwards that our education system was taking. Either that, or they recognized it and ignored/complained about it without taking action.
Most of you are the exceptions. However, please don't take "relaxed" (being relaxed and family-oriented) to mean "don't educate your children"....Without a return to cultural and economic and political literacy in this country, we are going to go the way of the Roman Empire, the Greek Empire, the British Empire, and every other one that has risen to great heights, only to slide into oblivion.
This post isn't meant to frighten....except maybe to jolt people into realizing everybody better start learning and noticing what is going on, because knowledge is the first step to power! If you want to know where to start, on a personal level, I know of no better place to begin than to read some of Dave Ramsey's work. (Not a paid ad....:) Then, if you don't know what the heck an exponential curve is or what I'm talking about, exercise your research skills and learn about it!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Children Learn Best in a Natural Environment
As many of you know, I work as a real estate appraiser now that my children are grown. The other day I went to a house where there were two primary-aged little boys. They had just come off the school bus at the end of a long day. When I first arrived, they were following me around the house, expressing curiosity about what I was doing, asking questions about my camera, and answering questions that the mother didn't know the answer to! In short, they were inquisitive, intelligent, and engaging little people.
After a few minutes, they were told to sit down and do their homework. It quickly became apparent that the younger one, who was in first grade, was a struggling reader. The process was difficult, and the feedback he was receiving was clearly making him believe he was less than adequate for the task.
This was on one of those rare winter days down south when it was almost 70 degrees and sunny outdoors. The outside was beckoning to the boys, but they still had to do their sit-down work, even after hours and hours of sitting and being quiet in the schoolroom.
Later in the week, I went to IKEA with my daughter and purposely sat down near the children's play area to eat my lunch. Next to us, there was a table with a family of young children, who were being forced to sit still and eat their food. They were squirming and misbehaving. In front of us, there was a little girl, maybe three years old, who was happily playing in the children's play area while her parents sat a few tables away watching her. I doubt she was in any danger of starving to death, and the parents were able to enjoy a happy lunch hour while she played, having fun in her own element.
Both of this instances just reminded me that I absolutely love to observe and/or work with young children when they are in their element, and I absolutely hate working with young children when they are out of their element, as is the case in almost every classroom situation.
I hope those of you who are homeschooling make the most of your opportunities to let the children learn outdoors when possible. Even indoor work can be done in a more conducive environment. A small reading area, with a comfortable big pillow in a sunny corner, makes a small child much more likely to enjoy curling up with a book than he would be sitting at a school desk.
Little children love to learn. They just hate sitting still in a contrived atmosphere and being made to sit for hours doing work that engages their minds but keeps their bodies in a straitjacket.
We used to take our books to the park sometimes. I remember sitting by a stream reading Thornton Burgess stories to the kids about Grandfather Frog while sitting by the frog pond at Red Top Mountain State Park.
I just feel sorry for kids who aren't allowed to be kids.
After a few minutes, they were told to sit down and do their homework. It quickly became apparent that the younger one, who was in first grade, was a struggling reader. The process was difficult, and the feedback he was receiving was clearly making him believe he was less than adequate for the task.
This was on one of those rare winter days down south when it was almost 70 degrees and sunny outdoors. The outside was beckoning to the boys, but they still had to do their sit-down work, even after hours and hours of sitting and being quiet in the schoolroom.
Later in the week, I went to IKEA with my daughter and purposely sat down near the children's play area to eat my lunch. Next to us, there was a table with a family of young children, who were being forced to sit still and eat their food. They were squirming and misbehaving. In front of us, there was a little girl, maybe three years old, who was happily playing in the children's play area while her parents sat a few tables away watching her. I doubt she was in any danger of starving to death, and the parents were able to enjoy a happy lunch hour while she played, having fun in her own element.
Both of this instances just reminded me that I absolutely love to observe and/or work with young children when they are in their element, and I absolutely hate working with young children when they are out of their element, as is the case in almost every classroom situation.
I hope those of you who are homeschooling make the most of your opportunities to let the children learn outdoors when possible. Even indoor work can be done in a more conducive environment. A small reading area, with a comfortable big pillow in a sunny corner, makes a small child much more likely to enjoy curling up with a book than he would be sitting at a school desk.
Little children love to learn. They just hate sitting still in a contrived atmosphere and being made to sit for hours doing work that engages their minds but keeps their bodies in a straitjacket.
We used to take our books to the park sometimes. I remember sitting by a stream reading Thornton Burgess stories to the kids about Grandfather Frog while sitting by the frog pond at Red Top Mountain State Park.
I just feel sorry for kids who aren't allowed to be kids.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Goals or New Year's Resolutions?
Good news, everyone! After a season of having no laptop available, I just purchased a new one, so I can start blogging again. The subject of this blog is one I wanted to write about in early January, but obviously couldn't because I didn't have a laptop.
Perhaps it is better timing now, anyway. I'm willing to bet that a lot of people have just recently discarded their most recent list of New Year's Resolutions that didn't look like they were happening.
I liken New Year's Resolutions to that AARP advertisement where a bunch of people about my age are saying things like, "When I grow up, I'm going to start a band", or "I'd like to fall in love again." Right. Wishes and dreams are fun, but generally they don't accomplish much until they are turned into concrete goals.
I'll give just one example from my own life. For years, every New Year's Eve, I would say, "This year I want to lose about ten pounds, develop a serious exercise program, and watch what I eat." Typically this resolution would last about two weeks, and then I would forget about it (while beating myself up occasionally over the course of the year).
About four years ago, however, something changed. First of all my motivation level went up, which is the first key. You have to have a strong "why" in place to make goals work effectively. As I got older, I started to realize that everything else I want to accomplish in life is now tied to my ability to maintain my health, from meeting my future grandchildren to developing my conference center in the Georgia Mountains.
Once the motivation was there, the second step was to form a concrete plan. I knew that I wasn't about to follow through on some kind of gym membership, but I love to go hiking in the woods. I therefore decided that I would make it a high priority to go hiking every single day for an hour, unless it was ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Note that weather was not going to be a factor. For the most part, I have followed through on this decision, and am now in much better shape than I was ten years ago.
More recently, I decided to move it up a notch. After reading Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods", about the Appalachian Trail, I have made a decision to walk at least one small part of the Applalachian Trail within the next two years. That means I need a definite plan...not just a spoken wish, or even a spoken intent. So here's the plan...This winter, I am simply going to follow through on my current hiking routine, which sometimes suffers as the weather gets colder. In the spring, I'm going to start hiking with a small backpack, and expand my territory to hike in a few of the more mountainous state parks here in Georgia. By next fall I will purchase a backpack that can carry up to 25 pounds in it, and begin gradually increasing the weight I can carry and the distance I can travel in a day. If all goes well, by summer of 2013, I should be ready to face a few days on the trail.
Anyone want to go along? You'll need to train with me!
.If you have a dream or a wish, try to turn it into a goal!
To reiterate:
1. Get a strong motivation in place.
2. Make a decision.
3. Turn the decision into a commitment through making a specific plan.
4. See if you can find someone to share the goal with you, or at least hold you accountable.
5. Execute your plan and amaze yourself at what you can really accomplish.
Remember that children and teens are also full of aspirations, dreams, and wishes....but they need to be taught how to turn them into realizable goals and follow through until their dreams become reality.
Glad to be back!!! Thanks to the folks at the California workshop that supported us sufficiently to allow ARCHERS to be able to provide the funds for this new computer!
Perhaps it is better timing now, anyway. I'm willing to bet that a lot of people have just recently discarded their most recent list of New Year's Resolutions that didn't look like they were happening.
I liken New Year's Resolutions to that AARP advertisement where a bunch of people about my age are saying things like, "When I grow up, I'm going to start a band", or "I'd like to fall in love again." Right. Wishes and dreams are fun, but generally they don't accomplish much until they are turned into concrete goals.
I'll give just one example from my own life. For years, every New Year's Eve, I would say, "This year I want to lose about ten pounds, develop a serious exercise program, and watch what I eat." Typically this resolution would last about two weeks, and then I would forget about it (while beating myself up occasionally over the course of the year).
About four years ago, however, something changed. First of all my motivation level went up, which is the first key. You have to have a strong "why" in place to make goals work effectively. As I got older, I started to realize that everything else I want to accomplish in life is now tied to my ability to maintain my health, from meeting my future grandchildren to developing my conference center in the Georgia Mountains.
Once the motivation was there, the second step was to form a concrete plan. I knew that I wasn't about to follow through on some kind of gym membership, but I love to go hiking in the woods. I therefore decided that I would make it a high priority to go hiking every single day for an hour, unless it was ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Note that weather was not going to be a factor. For the most part, I have followed through on this decision, and am now in much better shape than I was ten years ago.
More recently, I decided to move it up a notch. After reading Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods", about the Appalachian Trail, I have made a decision to walk at least one small part of the Applalachian Trail within the next two years. That means I need a definite plan...not just a spoken wish, or even a spoken intent. So here's the plan...This winter, I am simply going to follow through on my current hiking routine, which sometimes suffers as the weather gets colder. In the spring, I'm going to start hiking with a small backpack, and expand my territory to hike in a few of the more mountainous state parks here in Georgia. By next fall I will purchase a backpack that can carry up to 25 pounds in it, and begin gradually increasing the weight I can carry and the distance I can travel in a day. If all goes well, by summer of 2013, I should be ready to face a few days on the trail.
Anyone want to go along? You'll need to train with me!
.If you have a dream or a wish, try to turn it into a goal!
To reiterate:
1. Get a strong motivation in place.
2. Make a decision.
3. Turn the decision into a commitment through making a specific plan.
4. See if you can find someone to share the goal with you, or at least hold you accountable.
5. Execute your plan and amaze yourself at what you can really accomplish.
Remember that children and teens are also full of aspirations, dreams, and wishes....but they need to be taught how to turn them into realizable goals and follow through until their dreams become reality.
Glad to be back!!! Thanks to the folks at the California workshop that supported us sufficiently to allow ARCHERS to be able to provide the funds for this new computer!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Season of Gratitude
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it is I'm grateful for. I could just as easily be focused on what is wrong in my life, but I've learned that focusing on what is right winds up keeping me happier and more apt to be productive. Decided to share part of the list:
1. I'm grateful that, at the age of 61, I'm still on this earth, unlike several friends in my age group who have already passed on...Jerry, Kenny, Jim, Harold, all three Pauls...I miss you guys and will remember every day to have a good time while I'm on this earth! I miss my mom, too, but she had a long life and made it all the way to 92, and besides, she is still here...."Somewhere this mother is alive, no more as one but in the breasts of five."...well, three in this case, but I still feel her presence in my life.
2. I'm grateful that, unlike my grandmother, I lived to see all five of my kids grow up.
3. I'm grateful that, unlike many others, my husband and I both have a way to make money, our house is paid for, and we're not facing foreclosure.
4. I'm grateful that, unlike Joni, I have the use of all my limbs.
5. I'm grateful that, unlike Corrie Ten Boom, I'm not in jail, and there's no war raging in my home country.
6. I'm grateful that, unlike Helen Keller, I can still hear and see (albeit not as well as I did once!)
7. I'm grateful that I have a purpose and calling in life, and that I know what I am supposed to be doing every morning when I get up.
Now, I could have a different list...one that talks about my current problems, frustrations, and roadblocks, and then you could all join me in a big sigh, and say, "Poor Mary...Let's pray for her." And then I'd feel depressed and run around telling you all how bad things are and asking for prayer, and the next thing I'd know, everybody I met would be patting me on the back and asking me in a concerned voice, "How is everything going?".....Blech.
By the way, I can already hear some of you thinking, "Yes, but number ____ isn't true for ME!" So substitute in one of your own. If one of the above is a problem for you, move it to your other list and then tear up the list of negatives.
I prefer to focus on the positives, and hope you do, too! For one thing, ALL my kids will be here this Christmas for the first time in ages. Oh Frabjous Day...Calloo, Callay!!!
Hope you are all having a thankful Christmas Season!!! Mary
1. I'm grateful that, at the age of 61, I'm still on this earth, unlike several friends in my age group who have already passed on...Jerry, Kenny, Jim, Harold, all three Pauls...I miss you guys and will remember every day to have a good time while I'm on this earth! I miss my mom, too, but she had a long life and made it all the way to 92, and besides, she is still here...."Somewhere this mother is alive, no more as one but in the breasts of five."...well, three in this case, but I still feel her presence in my life.
2. I'm grateful that, unlike my grandmother, I lived to see all five of my kids grow up.
3. I'm grateful that, unlike many others, my husband and I both have a way to make money, our house is paid for, and we're not facing foreclosure.
4. I'm grateful that, unlike Joni, I have the use of all my limbs.
5. I'm grateful that, unlike Corrie Ten Boom, I'm not in jail, and there's no war raging in my home country.
6. I'm grateful that, unlike Helen Keller, I can still hear and see (albeit not as well as I did once!)
7. I'm grateful that I have a purpose and calling in life, and that I know what I am supposed to be doing every morning when I get up.
Now, I could have a different list...one that talks about my current problems, frustrations, and roadblocks, and then you could all join me in a big sigh, and say, "Poor Mary...Let's pray for her." And then I'd feel depressed and run around telling you all how bad things are and asking for prayer, and the next thing I'd know, everybody I met would be patting me on the back and asking me in a concerned voice, "How is everything going?".....Blech.
By the way, I can already hear some of you thinking, "Yes, but number ____ isn't true for ME!" So substitute in one of your own. If one of the above is a problem for you, move it to your other list and then tear up the list of negatives.
I prefer to focus on the positives, and hope you do, too! For one thing, ALL my kids will be here this Christmas for the first time in ages. Oh Frabjous Day...Calloo, Callay!!!
Hope you are all having a thankful Christmas Season!!! Mary
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Busy versus Purposeful
I was going to open this post with an apology for having missed a couple of weeks blogging...and then I noticed that it was a lot more than a couple of weeks! Time sure does slip past sometimes. Anyway, since I've just been too busy to keep up with certain things lately, it seemed like a good time to ruminate for a bit on the difference between being busy and being purposeful.
I, for example, know exactly what my purpose in life is. At this point, after more than twenty-five years homeschooling my kids, my purpose is twofold..to continue to be an effective mom and a good role model for my grown children, and to help support and encourage younger moms, especially those who have chosen the homeschooling lifestyle.
So what has kept my so busy lately? Mostly appraisal work. Over the past two months, besides doing a lot of work in this field, I was studying and taking a test to elevate my appraisal license. Note that none of this has much to do with my expressed "purpose in life". At some point, you have to start asking yourself what is going on, and whether or not it is time to make a change.
In my case, right now, I need to do a good bit of work in this field of appraisal, because it is the only immediate avenue for me to help out with the finances. I can also see that it has been helping in some measure with my work with homeschoolers, equipping me to help others during this whole real estate/economic problem that we've been experiencing. It has also helped me to move into the world of (semi) high tech, getting more comfortable with computers and other forms of technology.
At the same time, though, if I can't keep it under control, it will obviously take me away from my main purpose. I'm reaching the age when many people think about retiring. I don't personally believe in retirement, at least for myself, but I do believe in balance, and I keep reminding myself, 1/3, 1/3, 1/3.. One part family/personal, one part homeschooling ministry, one part real estate & finances to pay for the other 2/3. So this week I'm determined to bring it back into balance, starting with this blog.
This whole concept of balance, and recognizing the difference between staying busy and being purposeful is so applicable to the world of homeschooling and raising children. It is incredibly easy to be busy as a homeschooler, or, I would imagine, as a mom of public school kids. However, you have to stay focused on the real purpose of what you are doing. The purpose of all education should be mainly character training, opening up a world of possibilities to your kids, and helping them develop the basic skills, habits, and attitudes they will need to become lifelong learners and joyful, productive adults. This main purpose should never be allowed to get buried under mounds of curriculum materials, mindless homework, or blindly following the dicates of anyone outside of your immdiate family. That is true whether you are a homeschooling mom worrying about staying on "grade level", or "making sure" you have "covered everything" (which you can't do, by the way)...or whether you are a mom of kids in school who is allowing a teacher to dictate the amount of work a child needs to do on a weekend when his help is needed on a family project (which is probably more important, in the long run)...
So please join me this week in thinking through what the real purpose is of whatever you are supposed to be doing...and then trying, as much as possible, to rein in the busyness of life to make sure that you are putting your efforts into those things that are the most important.
I, for example, know exactly what my purpose in life is. At this point, after more than twenty-five years homeschooling my kids, my purpose is twofold..to continue to be an effective mom and a good role model for my grown children, and to help support and encourage younger moms, especially those who have chosen the homeschooling lifestyle.
So what has kept my so busy lately? Mostly appraisal work. Over the past two months, besides doing a lot of work in this field, I was studying and taking a test to elevate my appraisal license. Note that none of this has much to do with my expressed "purpose in life". At some point, you have to start asking yourself what is going on, and whether or not it is time to make a change.
In my case, right now, I need to do a good bit of work in this field of appraisal, because it is the only immediate avenue for me to help out with the finances. I can also see that it has been helping in some measure with my work with homeschoolers, equipping me to help others during this whole real estate/economic problem that we've been experiencing. It has also helped me to move into the world of (semi) high tech, getting more comfortable with computers and other forms of technology.
At the same time, though, if I can't keep it under control, it will obviously take me away from my main purpose. I'm reaching the age when many people think about retiring. I don't personally believe in retirement, at least for myself, but I do believe in balance, and I keep reminding myself, 1/3, 1/3, 1/3.. One part family/personal, one part homeschooling ministry, one part real estate & finances to pay for the other 2/3. So this week I'm determined to bring it back into balance, starting with this blog.
This whole concept of balance, and recognizing the difference between staying busy and being purposeful is so applicable to the world of homeschooling and raising children. It is incredibly easy to be busy as a homeschooler, or, I would imagine, as a mom of public school kids. However, you have to stay focused on the real purpose of what you are doing. The purpose of all education should be mainly character training, opening up a world of possibilities to your kids, and helping them develop the basic skills, habits, and attitudes they will need to become lifelong learners and joyful, productive adults. This main purpose should never be allowed to get buried under mounds of curriculum materials, mindless homework, or blindly following the dicates of anyone outside of your immdiate family. That is true whether you are a homeschooling mom worrying about staying on "grade level", or "making sure" you have "covered everything" (which you can't do, by the way)...or whether you are a mom of kids in school who is allowing a teacher to dictate the amount of work a child needs to do on a weekend when his help is needed on a family project (which is probably more important, in the long run)...
So please join me this week in thinking through what the real purpose is of whatever you are supposed to be doing...and then trying, as much as possible, to rein in the busyness of life to make sure that you are putting your efforts into those things that are the most important.
Monday, August 1, 2011
New article at The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
Mostly just blogging today to spread the word that The Old Schoolhouse Magazine did an interview with me in the current (Summer, 2011) issue. Easiest way to read it is to go to http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine-digital.com/, (links don't seem to work, just type it in if they don't), and either scroll to page 84 or click on the table of contents for the living books article on p 76 and scroll a few pages.
Actually, this week I'm doing another interview for the same magazine, this one on our Titus Brigade mentoring program. If you are in the Atlanta area, watch for an ice cream social at Swift-Cantrell Park in Kennesaw, sometime in Sept. (When details are available we'll post them on the facebook page.) Also, I'm probably doing a RHS workshop in LaCrosse Wisconsin in October. Did that on purpose! This old Wisconsin native needs to see some of those colors once every few years. Also my high school is having a 100 year reunion (not my class...that's how old the high school is) in Milwaukee that month. Not sure if I'm going or not.
Finally, watch for details on a webinar Chris Davis and I are doing together a little earlier in October. This is with Felice Gerwitz' Ultimate Homeschool Expo organization.
I feel like I've been doing so little homeschool talking for so long, and now it is all lining up! Probably also talking in Los Angeles in January, maybe Florida in Feb. Hope to meet some of my new blogging/facebook friends at one of these.
Oh, and its my birthday tomorrow. Accepting all the greetings I can get since my family is so scattered, I'll feel practically alone. (Thank God for Skype.)
Actually, this week I'm doing another interview for the same magazine, this one on our Titus Brigade mentoring program. If you are in the Atlanta area, watch for an ice cream social at Swift-Cantrell Park in Kennesaw, sometime in Sept. (When details are available we'll post them on the facebook page.) Also, I'm probably doing a RHS workshop in LaCrosse Wisconsin in October. Did that on purpose! This old Wisconsin native needs to see some of those colors once every few years. Also my high school is having a 100 year reunion (not my class...that's how old the high school is) in Milwaukee that month. Not sure if I'm going or not.
Finally, watch for details on a webinar Chris Davis and I are doing together a little earlier in October. This is with Felice Gerwitz' Ultimate Homeschool Expo organization.
I feel like I've been doing so little homeschool talking for so long, and now it is all lining up! Probably also talking in Los Angeles in January, maybe Florida in Feb. Hope to meet some of my new blogging/facebook friends at one of these.
Oh, and its my birthday tomorrow. Accepting all the greetings I can get since my family is so scattered, I'll feel practically alone. (Thank God for Skype.)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Connecting with Your Audience
It's Saturday night and I just got back from the park with my dog. It's become a ritual this summer, walking my dog at the park on Saturday nights and listening to the free bluegrass concerts. The band tonight had one of the very best mandolin players I've ever heard. (Keeping in mind I used to play mandolin in a bluegrass band way way back when, I know a good one when I hear one!) The guitar player was also very good, as was the fiddle player. Individually, they were some of the best musicians I've heard in a long time. However, they just weren't connecting with their audience.
The people who attend these concerts are die-hard bluegrass fans. They don't mind a little country gospel mixed in once in awhile, but they want their bluegrass clean and traditional. These guys were into jazz....they jazzed up one Doc Watson tune so much I couldn't even recognize it. Great musicians, but they were either just in the wrong venue, or didn't know how to read the audience to figure out what they wanted to listen to. One by one, people got up and walked back to their cars until there was just a handful of people left.
As a writer, and someone who has taught writing, this is a key theme in helping people turn into great communicators. You've got to connect with your audience. I learned this early in my writing career. I had just finished up my Ph.D., where you have to write very academically, citing everything, and sounding as erudite as possible. When I first wanted to share my Ph.D. research with the homeschooling community, I wrote a big ol' book called something like "Educational Philosophy and the Home Schooling Movement". You all remember that one, don't you? Huge success.
After a bit, though, I re-grouped, started thinking like a homeschooling mom again, and turned it into my Countdown to Consistency workshop, and actually eventually sold out of that big old first printing. Later, I wrote a very simple book, called "The Relaxed Home School", and the rest, as they say, is history. But I didn't do well at all until I figured out who my audience was and starting thinking like they did.
That's what this blog is all about...I suddenly had one of those epiphanies where I realized I wasn't connecting with an entire generation of new, younger homeschooling moms, the ones that were raised in an electronic generation. It isn't easy to start new things when you're a little older, or remain flexible and open to new ideas, but I realized that if I wasn't willing to try something new, the only homeschoolers I'd be connecting with would be "ex" ones....
So whatever you're doing, be sure you're connecting. Even if it just trying to see life from the standpoint of a teenager, or a mother-in-law, or a husband who doesn't support your homeschooling ideas, you won't get anywhere if you don't stop for a minute and try walking in that person's shoes.
Okay, time for bed now...I've had a busy day, digging up tulip bulbs to try to trick them into thinking we live in Wisconsin or Michigan. Hope you all are coping with the heat wave!
The people who attend these concerts are die-hard bluegrass fans. They don't mind a little country gospel mixed in once in awhile, but they want their bluegrass clean and traditional. These guys were into jazz....they jazzed up one Doc Watson tune so much I couldn't even recognize it. Great musicians, but they were either just in the wrong venue, or didn't know how to read the audience to figure out what they wanted to listen to. One by one, people got up and walked back to their cars until there was just a handful of people left.
As a writer, and someone who has taught writing, this is a key theme in helping people turn into great communicators. You've got to connect with your audience. I learned this early in my writing career. I had just finished up my Ph.D., where you have to write very academically, citing everything, and sounding as erudite as possible. When I first wanted to share my Ph.D. research with the homeschooling community, I wrote a big ol' book called something like "Educational Philosophy and the Home Schooling Movement". You all remember that one, don't you? Huge success.
After a bit, though, I re-grouped, started thinking like a homeschooling mom again, and turned it into my Countdown to Consistency workshop, and actually eventually sold out of that big old first printing. Later, I wrote a very simple book, called "The Relaxed Home School", and the rest, as they say, is history. But I didn't do well at all until I figured out who my audience was and starting thinking like they did.
That's what this blog is all about...I suddenly had one of those epiphanies where I realized I wasn't connecting with an entire generation of new, younger homeschooling moms, the ones that were raised in an electronic generation. It isn't easy to start new things when you're a little older, or remain flexible and open to new ideas, but I realized that if I wasn't willing to try something new, the only homeschoolers I'd be connecting with would be "ex" ones....
So whatever you're doing, be sure you're connecting. Even if it just trying to see life from the standpoint of a teenager, or a mother-in-law, or a husband who doesn't support your homeschooling ideas, you won't get anywhere if you don't stop for a minute and try walking in that person's shoes.
Okay, time for bed now...I've had a busy day, digging up tulip bulbs to try to trick them into thinking we live in Wisconsin or Michigan. Hope you all are coping with the heat wave!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Bring Back an Old Concept
When I was young, one of the things I remember my mother telling me, over and over, was the importance of doing things in moderation. Back then, almost everyone who was older and wiser would say that you should walk the middle ground, avoiding extremism.
To some extent, the world has simply changed. There are times one must be a bit of an extremist these days because the middle road can lead to compromise. It's true. However, I think a lot of us could benefit from bringing back the concept of moderation.
One example is in the area of food and diet. Some of my friends are really into the "no white sugar, no white flour, everything whole grains" thing. Others are vegetarians or vegans. Others pig out on just about anything that isn't nailed down in the kitchen. I've found that, in general, the people who are absolutely adamant about eating healthy at all times often have a real hard time sustaining it over the long haul. Then, when they do succumb to the occasional dish of ice cream, they beat themselves up to the point that they are damaging their own self-esteem.
There are those, of course, with genuine health concerns. My daughter used to vaccilate between being a vegetarian, a vegan, diagnosing herself with lactose intolerance, etc. Finally she discovered her real problem, which is that she is gluten intolerant. Now, she is again able to enjoy an occasional piece of meat or dairy, but really has to stay away from gluten, or she faces the consequences. Real health concerns are a whole different issue than what I'm talking about today.
For those of us who don't have a specific intolerance, I still maintain that moderation is the key. I've found that as I eat less sugar, I crave it less. As I get more used to eating fruits and vegetables, I don't miss having meat at every meal. However, once in awhile, I just really feel like having a candy bar or a bowl of ice cream. If I allow myself to enjoy these things in moderation, I dont' feel guilty and I don't feel deprived. Plus, I'm able to actually stick with the resolve to eat in moderation....I don't know about you but if I tried to give up all foods I like cold turkey, I'm betting I'd "fail" and then beat myself up about it.
Exercise is another example. One man I know goes back and forth. One week he is exercising every day, hiking ten miles, working out on the machines every morning. Then for a month, it is nothing. Some of the exercise programs are even labeled "extreme" these days...Personally, I go running at the state park almost every morning. When I can't go for a couple of mornings, I miss it, but I don't yell at myself all day about what a slug I've been...I just try to get it back on the schedule for the next day. What I call running is what a lot of people would call bouncing up and down while walking. Every morning, I'm passed by real runners. You can tell a "real runner" by the spiffy new running shoes they are wearing, the walkman they are listening to (I prefer to listen to the birds in the early morning), and by the fact that I will probably see them for about six days in a row and then never again. On the other hand, some of the early morning walkers and bouncers have been there just about every day with me for the past two years. Once again, establishing some moderate form of exercise that you will actually enjoy and be able to sustain over the long haul is usually better than choosing something too extreme for you to continue day after day.
One more example: technology, especially social networking. A little is fine, laudable, good, productive, and fun. However, when it truly becomes your "social" outlet, to the point you have no real friends, or you wind up getting up in the middle of the night and turning on your computer to to let everybody know you are having trouble sleeping, it can easily become an obsession.
So now I'm getting off the computer and going to do my exercises (in moderation). Bye.
To some extent, the world has simply changed. There are times one must be a bit of an extremist these days because the middle road can lead to compromise. It's true. However, I think a lot of us could benefit from bringing back the concept of moderation.
One example is in the area of food and diet. Some of my friends are really into the "no white sugar, no white flour, everything whole grains" thing. Others are vegetarians or vegans. Others pig out on just about anything that isn't nailed down in the kitchen. I've found that, in general, the people who are absolutely adamant about eating healthy at all times often have a real hard time sustaining it over the long haul. Then, when they do succumb to the occasional dish of ice cream, they beat themselves up to the point that they are damaging their own self-esteem.
There are those, of course, with genuine health concerns. My daughter used to vaccilate between being a vegetarian, a vegan, diagnosing herself with lactose intolerance, etc. Finally she discovered her real problem, which is that she is gluten intolerant. Now, she is again able to enjoy an occasional piece of meat or dairy, but really has to stay away from gluten, or she faces the consequences. Real health concerns are a whole different issue than what I'm talking about today.
For those of us who don't have a specific intolerance, I still maintain that moderation is the key. I've found that as I eat less sugar, I crave it less. As I get more used to eating fruits and vegetables, I don't miss having meat at every meal. However, once in awhile, I just really feel like having a candy bar or a bowl of ice cream. If I allow myself to enjoy these things in moderation, I dont' feel guilty and I don't feel deprived. Plus, I'm able to actually stick with the resolve to eat in moderation....I don't know about you but if I tried to give up all foods I like cold turkey, I'm betting I'd "fail" and then beat myself up about it.
Exercise is another example. One man I know goes back and forth. One week he is exercising every day, hiking ten miles, working out on the machines every morning. Then for a month, it is nothing. Some of the exercise programs are even labeled "extreme" these days...Personally, I go running at the state park almost every morning. When I can't go for a couple of mornings, I miss it, but I don't yell at myself all day about what a slug I've been...I just try to get it back on the schedule for the next day. What I call running is what a lot of people would call bouncing up and down while walking. Every morning, I'm passed by real runners. You can tell a "real runner" by the spiffy new running shoes they are wearing, the walkman they are listening to (I prefer to listen to the birds in the early morning), and by the fact that I will probably see them for about six days in a row and then never again. On the other hand, some of the early morning walkers and bouncers have been there just about every day with me for the past two years. Once again, establishing some moderate form of exercise that you will actually enjoy and be able to sustain over the long haul is usually better than choosing something too extreme for you to continue day after day.
One more example: technology, especially social networking. A little is fine, laudable, good, productive, and fun. However, when it truly becomes your "social" outlet, to the point you have no real friends, or you wind up getting up in the middle of the night and turning on your computer to to let everybody know you are having trouble sleeping, it can easily become an obsession.
So now I'm getting off the computer and going to do my exercises (in moderation). Bye.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Learning about "Social Studies"
On the fourth of July, it seemed like a good time to address a question I'm often asked, which is, "what exactly should we be teaching for social studies?" I just answered this question this week for a mom who was thinking about high school and wondering what the colleges expect.
As with any homeschooling plan of action, the first thing is to ignore purposefully what the public schools would be doing in any particular grade. As long time readers know, I am not opposed to everything/everybody that is involved with the public school. My own mom worked there for many years. However, social studies education is one area where the public schools have done a very ineffective job for many years.
So here we are on the 4th of July. As many people know, recent polls have shown a pathetic level of knowledge of even the basics of American history. Most young people these days have only a vague idea of what they are supposed to be celebrating on this holiday. I have known supposedly well-educated young people recently who had no idea who many of the founders of the country were, who thought Thomas Jefferson wrote the Constitution, who didn't have any clue what the Bill of Rights was, and who genuinely believed that the first amendment said something about the separation of church and state.
None of this is news to the average homeschooler. Today I want to address a slightly different issue...the issue of ethnocentrism. Yes, it is important to know about American history, to understand (and actually READ the Consitituition), to know how the U.S government works, the basics of capitalism, and the ideas of the founding fathers. However, as Christians, we owe our allegiance to something greater than a country.
Along with the U.S. history in your curriculum, be sure to help your children develop a knowledge of the rest of the world. One thing I saw, over and over, at our resource center, was that by the time a student came to us for a high school level class, he or she often had huge gaps in their knowledge. Those unit studies that were popular homeschooling topics, like Romans, or Vikings, or Greeks, or the Civil War, had been covered extensively. Yet hardly anyone could tell me the names or locations of the countries in South America or Africa, or explain the history of "the two Chinas"....Everybody knew about World War II, and nobody knew about World War I. Everybody knew about the Great Depression in the United States; nobody knew anything about the major depression that hit in Germany between the wars, resulting in the rise of Hitler.
Of course, this is exactly what makes moms come to me asking for help. Everybody is deathly afraid that they will somehow "miss" something important when working with their homeschoolers, thereby somehow rendering them hopeless and unable to get into college. In the long haul, what matters most is developing a love of learning in your children and giving the desire and skills to enable them to continue learning throughout their adult lives. Nobody can know "everything" at the age of 18. (Although most 18 year olds think they know everything...but that's another topic.) However, a little thought and planning can avoid such huge gaps and help provide a basic platform for further learning.
When planning for teaching social studies, I would follow these steps:
1. Forget/ignore what public school instruction is in social studies at a particular age. It doesn't matter, and your own plans will probably be superior to whatever they would be learning in school. (Note to any public school parents who may be reading this: Read to your kids, take them interesting places when you can...You can add on what the schools aren't teaching them and have fun doing it!)
2. Whatever you do, try to make it relevant and fun. History can be the driest subject in the world or the most exciting one. Start with local history, consider reenactments or theatre involvements, go on interesting field trips, read good books instead of textbooks.
3. When dealing with children 12 and down, there is nothing wrong with doing this a bit "hodge-podge"...but a good time line on the wall might do wonders in helping to tie things together. Also, whatever you are studying, start with local, go to U.S., but don't ignore the rest of the world! Learning about other cultures is vital in today's world. Two of my own children live outside the United States; all but one have done extensive traveling. I didn't leave this continent until I was in my fifties. My mother never left the U.S. My grandmother never left Wisconsin. Things are changing, and we have to change along with it!
4. When the kids are about middle school age it is a good time to do some subjects more linear...U.S. history from the beginning to current, a good overall view of world history and geography, perhaps some emphasis on missions work. Middle school years are a good time to prepare them for high school level work. Emphasize the skills they are developing (research, public speaking, reading and writing, thinking), as well as the specific knowledge base they are developing. Both are important at this stage.
5. When high school comes around, the typical social studies curriculum includes U.S. History, World History, World Geography, and Political Science/Economics. Most homeschoolers already know a lot of U.S. History by then, so my tendency is to go heavier on the more difficult subjects in high school, such as economics, Constitutional law, and World History. This doesn't mean you have to switch to boring methods of instruction...it just requires a little bit more planning, which should always involve the students at this stage.
6. No matter what the age of the student, textbooks are always the worst kind of instruction in this area. The best is personal involvement, (like real family trips), the second best is reading a good book written by someone who is actually interested in a particular topic. Good quality videos can also provide interesting vicarious experiences. When I was teaching a world history class at the resource center, I always got the video of the bomber pilot who bombed Hiroshima discussing his experiences that day. (For those of you in Georgia, it is available at the Cobb County Public Library). Just a little more interesting than reading about it in a textbook!
For those of you who have coops or resource centers where you can have group experiences, one final suggestion....my social studies classes at the resource center were also always my thinly-disguised speech classes. Over and over, my old students who have now graduated college, come back and tell me this was the best thing we did for them there. In middle school, they were expected to do group oral projects; in 9th grade they began taking ten minute pieces of class to teach, and by their senior year they were each teaching two complete classes a year.....An important part of this, I believe, is that they got to choose their own topics...It is always much easier to learn to speak in public when you are talking about something that you are interested in yourself! I'm a great public speaker when I'm talking about homeschooling, but put me up there on a topic of someone else's choice, I'd probably be horrible.
Okay...way too long a post on a holiday weekend. Get out there and enjoy the day with your families!
As with any homeschooling plan of action, the first thing is to ignore purposefully what the public schools would be doing in any particular grade. As long time readers know, I am not opposed to everything/everybody that is involved with the public school. My own mom worked there for many years. However, social studies education is one area where the public schools have done a very ineffective job for many years.
So here we are on the 4th of July. As many people know, recent polls have shown a pathetic level of knowledge of even the basics of American history. Most young people these days have only a vague idea of what they are supposed to be celebrating on this holiday. I have known supposedly well-educated young people recently who had no idea who many of the founders of the country were, who thought Thomas Jefferson wrote the Constitution, who didn't have any clue what the Bill of Rights was, and who genuinely believed that the first amendment said something about the separation of church and state.
None of this is news to the average homeschooler. Today I want to address a slightly different issue...the issue of ethnocentrism. Yes, it is important to know about American history, to understand (and actually READ the Consitituition), to know how the U.S government works, the basics of capitalism, and the ideas of the founding fathers. However, as Christians, we owe our allegiance to something greater than a country.
Along with the U.S. history in your curriculum, be sure to help your children develop a knowledge of the rest of the world. One thing I saw, over and over, at our resource center, was that by the time a student came to us for a high school level class, he or she often had huge gaps in their knowledge. Those unit studies that were popular homeschooling topics, like Romans, or Vikings, or Greeks, or the Civil War, had been covered extensively. Yet hardly anyone could tell me the names or locations of the countries in South America or Africa, or explain the history of "the two Chinas"....Everybody knew about World War II, and nobody knew about World War I. Everybody knew about the Great Depression in the United States; nobody knew anything about the major depression that hit in Germany between the wars, resulting in the rise of Hitler.
Of course, this is exactly what makes moms come to me asking for help. Everybody is deathly afraid that they will somehow "miss" something important when working with their homeschoolers, thereby somehow rendering them hopeless and unable to get into college. In the long haul, what matters most is developing a love of learning in your children and giving the desire and skills to enable them to continue learning throughout their adult lives. Nobody can know "everything" at the age of 18. (Although most 18 year olds think they know everything...but that's another topic.) However, a little thought and planning can avoid such huge gaps and help provide a basic platform for further learning.
When planning for teaching social studies, I would follow these steps:
1. Forget/ignore what public school instruction is in social studies at a particular age. It doesn't matter, and your own plans will probably be superior to whatever they would be learning in school. (Note to any public school parents who may be reading this: Read to your kids, take them interesting places when you can...You can add on what the schools aren't teaching them and have fun doing it!)
2. Whatever you do, try to make it relevant and fun. History can be the driest subject in the world or the most exciting one. Start with local history, consider reenactments or theatre involvements, go on interesting field trips, read good books instead of textbooks.
3. When dealing with children 12 and down, there is nothing wrong with doing this a bit "hodge-podge"...but a good time line on the wall might do wonders in helping to tie things together. Also, whatever you are studying, start with local, go to U.S., but don't ignore the rest of the world! Learning about other cultures is vital in today's world. Two of my own children live outside the United States; all but one have done extensive traveling. I didn't leave this continent until I was in my fifties. My mother never left the U.S. My grandmother never left Wisconsin. Things are changing, and we have to change along with it!
4. When the kids are about middle school age it is a good time to do some subjects more linear...U.S. history from the beginning to current, a good overall view of world history and geography, perhaps some emphasis on missions work. Middle school years are a good time to prepare them for high school level work. Emphasize the skills they are developing (research, public speaking, reading and writing, thinking), as well as the specific knowledge base they are developing. Both are important at this stage.
5. When high school comes around, the typical social studies curriculum includes U.S. History, World History, World Geography, and Political Science/Economics. Most homeschoolers already know a lot of U.S. History by then, so my tendency is to go heavier on the more difficult subjects in high school, such as economics, Constitutional law, and World History. This doesn't mean you have to switch to boring methods of instruction...it just requires a little bit more planning, which should always involve the students at this stage.
6. No matter what the age of the student, textbooks are always the worst kind of instruction in this area. The best is personal involvement, (like real family trips), the second best is reading a good book written by someone who is actually interested in a particular topic. Good quality videos can also provide interesting vicarious experiences. When I was teaching a world history class at the resource center, I always got the video of the bomber pilot who bombed Hiroshima discussing his experiences that day. (For those of you in Georgia, it is available at the Cobb County Public Library). Just a little more interesting than reading about it in a textbook!
For those of you who have coops or resource centers where you can have group experiences, one final suggestion....my social studies classes at the resource center were also always my thinly-disguised speech classes. Over and over, my old students who have now graduated college, come back and tell me this was the best thing we did for them there. In middle school, they were expected to do group oral projects; in 9th grade they began taking ten minute pieces of class to teach, and by their senior year they were each teaching two complete classes a year.....An important part of this, I believe, is that they got to choose their own topics...It is always much easier to learn to speak in public when you are talking about something that you are interested in yourself! I'm a great public speaker when I'm talking about homeschooling, but put me up there on a topic of someone else's choice, I'd probably be horrible.
Okay...way too long a post on a holiday weekend. Get out there and enjoy the day with your families!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
The Rhythm of Life
I'm stealing this title from the book, "Plain Wisdom", by Cindy Woodsmall and Miriam Flaud. Miriam is an old order Amish woman, and Cindy is from the modern world, but they share a lot in common just by virtue of being women..It's a good book. You should all read it some time. I know I've been enjoying it the past few days.
Two rhythms strike me as important this morning...the rhythm of the seasons and the rhythm of the days. It's a good time to be thinking of this, just as July shows up. July, by nature, is meant to be a slow time of year. It's a time for lying around in a hammock, taking a nice siesta during the hot hours of the day, spending the 4th of July with family and friends, and maybe taking a trip to the beach, or just splashing around with the family in the back yard pool.
The problem is, so many people have allowed themselves to get out of rhythm with the natural world. It is so easy to hide inside climate controlled houses and let July pass unnoticed. When I was a kid, the neighborhoods would be filled with children playing outside all month long. Think of Calvin and Hobbes and how much Calvin loved the summer, when "the days were just filled" with lots of nothing to do... In my job as an appraiser, I drive neighborhoods almost every day during the week. The kids are usually nowhere to be seen. A few might be found in the subdivision's pool, but rarely do you see children just fooling around out in their yards... I guess it is just too easy to sit inside in the airconditioning and play computer games, and I find that desperately sad.
It is also very important (at least for me) to move in the natural rhythm of the day...and that also changes for me from season to season. In the summertime, down south, I get up early every morning and before the sun gets too high, I do a little praying/inspirational reading, do my flexibilty exercises, feed the animals, feed myself, go running at the state park, water the outside plants and my gardens, and then water the inside plants and fill my bird feeders. Only after those "morning things" are done do I turn on my computer. I never allow appointments to infringe on these early morning hours...my work day starts at 10:00. Period.
Except yesterday. Yesterday, my boss really needed to talk to me at 6:00 a.m. That talk just kind of continued until about noon...and none of my "morning things" happened. That threw me off for the entire rest of the day. Of course, one of the important things to learn in life is you have to be flexible, and he really did need me yesterday morning. I understand that. I also promise that if he started to "need" me very often at that hour, I would soon be looking for another job. I've talked a lot about establishing boundaries lately. This is one boundary I simply have to have in place!
When my kids were little, we had a lot of flexibility and freedom in our homeschooling and our household, but every morning we had a bit of a routine, what we used to call our "morning things". We always started out with a few chores, a little personal private time, and a sit down breakfast together at approximately the same time every day. I've written many times that if we ever looked a little bit like a school when the kids were young, it was when we were at the breakfast table. I figured I had them all gathered together, so we might as well use the time together. We always started with a little Bible study, mostly using Pearl Buck's "The Story Bible", and then did one other thing...often a unit study, sometimes some foreign language study.
The important thing, to me, was that we had a routine established...Again, we could sometimes alter it for a day or two if life got in the way, but established routines and rhythms are very important to maintaining sanity, and the more they can mimic the natural rhythms of life, the happier and calmer everybody is typically going to be.
For the record, it has been in the 90s for days down south, and right now, at just after noon, the air conditioner is still off. I have a routine for that, too, (which, I'll admit, is sometimes a bone of contention in the family)..First thing in the morning, windows open, attic fan on.....Later, attic fan off, windows closed....At some point in the later afternoon, if it gets just too bad, a couple of hours of AC...then it is off again and the windows are opened and the attic fan is on....Not only does it save gobs of money, it helps me to live my life like my cat...going in and out of the house all day long at will....not getting so used to a nice cool house that I don't want to go out and do things in the garden.
Of course, I know not everybody is the "nature girl" that I am....But whatever, you need to establish your routines and your rhythms...it is part of the entire process of learning how to be relaxed without having things deteriorate into chaos. Then remember to set your own goals for your homeschooling and just stop obsessing over all the things that don't matter much in the long run. Live an interesting life, read a lot together, and make sure to enjoy some of these long, hot, summer days with your kids out in God's beautiful world!
Two rhythms strike me as important this morning...the rhythm of the seasons and the rhythm of the days. It's a good time to be thinking of this, just as July shows up. July, by nature, is meant to be a slow time of year. It's a time for lying around in a hammock, taking a nice siesta during the hot hours of the day, spending the 4th of July with family and friends, and maybe taking a trip to the beach, or just splashing around with the family in the back yard pool.
The problem is, so many people have allowed themselves to get out of rhythm with the natural world. It is so easy to hide inside climate controlled houses and let July pass unnoticed. When I was a kid, the neighborhoods would be filled with children playing outside all month long. Think of Calvin and Hobbes and how much Calvin loved the summer, when "the days were just filled" with lots of nothing to do... In my job as an appraiser, I drive neighborhoods almost every day during the week. The kids are usually nowhere to be seen. A few might be found in the subdivision's pool, but rarely do you see children just fooling around out in their yards... I guess it is just too easy to sit inside in the airconditioning and play computer games, and I find that desperately sad.
It is also very important (at least for me) to move in the natural rhythm of the day...and that also changes for me from season to season. In the summertime, down south, I get up early every morning and before the sun gets too high, I do a little praying/inspirational reading, do my flexibilty exercises, feed the animals, feed myself, go running at the state park, water the outside plants and my gardens, and then water the inside plants and fill my bird feeders. Only after those "morning things" are done do I turn on my computer. I never allow appointments to infringe on these early morning hours...my work day starts at 10:00. Period.
Except yesterday. Yesterday, my boss really needed to talk to me at 6:00 a.m. That talk just kind of continued until about noon...and none of my "morning things" happened. That threw me off for the entire rest of the day. Of course, one of the important things to learn in life is you have to be flexible, and he really did need me yesterday morning. I understand that. I also promise that if he started to "need" me very often at that hour, I would soon be looking for another job. I've talked a lot about establishing boundaries lately. This is one boundary I simply have to have in place!
When my kids were little, we had a lot of flexibility and freedom in our homeschooling and our household, but every morning we had a bit of a routine, what we used to call our "morning things". We always started out with a few chores, a little personal private time, and a sit down breakfast together at approximately the same time every day. I've written many times that if we ever looked a little bit like a school when the kids were young, it was when we were at the breakfast table. I figured I had them all gathered together, so we might as well use the time together. We always started with a little Bible study, mostly using Pearl Buck's "The Story Bible", and then did one other thing...often a unit study, sometimes some foreign language study.
The important thing, to me, was that we had a routine established...Again, we could sometimes alter it for a day or two if life got in the way, but established routines and rhythms are very important to maintaining sanity, and the more they can mimic the natural rhythms of life, the happier and calmer everybody is typically going to be.
For the record, it has been in the 90s for days down south, and right now, at just after noon, the air conditioner is still off. I have a routine for that, too, (which, I'll admit, is sometimes a bone of contention in the family)..First thing in the morning, windows open, attic fan on.....Later, attic fan off, windows closed....At some point in the later afternoon, if it gets just too bad, a couple of hours of AC...then it is off again and the windows are opened and the attic fan is on....Not only does it save gobs of money, it helps me to live my life like my cat...going in and out of the house all day long at will....not getting so used to a nice cool house that I don't want to go out and do things in the garden.
Of course, I know not everybody is the "nature girl" that I am....But whatever, you need to establish your routines and your rhythms...it is part of the entire process of learning how to be relaxed without having things deteriorate into chaos. Then remember to set your own goals for your homeschooling and just stop obsessing over all the things that don't matter much in the long run. Live an interesting life, read a lot together, and make sure to enjoy some of these long, hot, summer days with your kids out in God's beautiful world!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Moms and Working
I've been thinking a lot this week about the issue of moms who need to earn extra income. This is the first time in a long while that I've been working for a "boss", although I'm still technically an independent contractor in my real estate work, which gives me a certain amount of leeway. Working for someone else makes everything so much more difficult when you have a household that needs somebody's full-time attention.
I read a good book a long time ago, (the title of which escapes me), which talked about women going through various stages in their lives. For the majority of women, this looks something like: young, unmarried, just out of college; young and married without children; 7 years (or so) of being married with small children, then married with children in school, and eventually married with kids all grown up. Of course, there are also single women at all phases,whose issues are somewhat different than the majority of homeschooling moms.
The problem with homeschooling moms is that phase three, married with children, doesn't last just seven years for us....it lasts about a third of our lifetimes! That makes it more important than ever for homeschooling moms to consider carefully whenever we are trying to earn an income. I still believe that it is much, much better for moms to either not work at all when their kids are still needing them a lot, or to figure out some way to do it being their own boss....An outside employer throws a real wrench into your priorities when you still have kids at home that need you at odd hours.
Even now, with just two "kids" at home (aged 20 and 33), I find there are still moments when I'm needed. As they get older, these moments are rarer, but they seem to be all the more critical at the exact moment of need. Even though I have deadlines now, I still have a little flexibility since much of my work as a real estate appraiser is done at home at my computer (and often in my jammies at midnight!) Still, I could never have done this job when my children were younger, because the stress would have made me crazy.
For those of you whose kids are still young, I strongly encourage you to explore any options you can find to make money on your own schedule. Nowadays, that probably would be easiest to do using the internet. My daughter Laura is thinking about making a variety of handcrafted items and selling them on an internet site. I had so many botched attempts to make money when my kids were little. The worst one was distributing phone books. I had pictured walking down the street with a little red wagon while Sam and Ginny took turns running up to place a phone book on a porch...Instead I wound up with 400 phone books I had to haul up to the 15th floor of an office building while they sat at home being babysat! The best job I ever had as a young homeschooling mom was teaching piano lessons to school kids after school at my house. By then my little guys were ready for some quiet time in their rooms, and as long as I kept it down to 2 students a day, it worked fine. Then later, as I began working with homeschoolers, things also worked fairly well because it was all homeschool related, so the kids could usually be around and moderately helpful.
I don't regret the last four years, working and studying in the field of real estate. It has definitely helped me learn more about computers, marketing, and lots of technological areas that I'd been avoiding to that point. However, I could never have done this when my kids were all still at home. I miss the more leisurely days of homeschooling and working with other families and I''m looking forward to putting this real estate work aside again someday and returning to the field of education....But for now, gotta go...I have a deadline to meet!
I read a good book a long time ago, (the title of which escapes me), which talked about women going through various stages in their lives. For the majority of women, this looks something like: young, unmarried, just out of college; young and married without children; 7 years (or so) of being married with small children, then married with children in school, and eventually married with kids all grown up. Of course, there are also single women at all phases,whose issues are somewhat different than the majority of homeschooling moms.
The problem with homeschooling moms is that phase three, married with children, doesn't last just seven years for us....it lasts about a third of our lifetimes! That makes it more important than ever for homeschooling moms to consider carefully whenever we are trying to earn an income. I still believe that it is much, much better for moms to either not work at all when their kids are still needing them a lot, or to figure out some way to do it being their own boss....An outside employer throws a real wrench into your priorities when you still have kids at home that need you at odd hours.
Even now, with just two "kids" at home (aged 20 and 33), I find there are still moments when I'm needed. As they get older, these moments are rarer, but they seem to be all the more critical at the exact moment of need. Even though I have deadlines now, I still have a little flexibility since much of my work as a real estate appraiser is done at home at my computer (and often in my jammies at midnight!) Still, I could never have done this job when my children were younger, because the stress would have made me crazy.
For those of you whose kids are still young, I strongly encourage you to explore any options you can find to make money on your own schedule. Nowadays, that probably would be easiest to do using the internet. My daughter Laura is thinking about making a variety of handcrafted items and selling them on an internet site. I had so many botched attempts to make money when my kids were little. The worst one was distributing phone books. I had pictured walking down the street with a little red wagon while Sam and Ginny took turns running up to place a phone book on a porch...Instead I wound up with 400 phone books I had to haul up to the 15th floor of an office building while they sat at home being babysat! The best job I ever had as a young homeschooling mom was teaching piano lessons to school kids after school at my house. By then my little guys were ready for some quiet time in their rooms, and as long as I kept it down to 2 students a day, it worked fine. Then later, as I began working with homeschoolers, things also worked fairly well because it was all homeschool related, so the kids could usually be around and moderately helpful.
I don't regret the last four years, working and studying in the field of real estate. It has definitely helped me learn more about computers, marketing, and lots of technological areas that I'd been avoiding to that point. However, I could never have done this when my kids were all still at home. I miss the more leisurely days of homeschooling and working with other families and I''m looking forward to putting this real estate work aside again someday and returning to the field of education....But for now, gotta go...I have a deadline to meet!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Building (and Appreciating!) Community
This past weekend, for the first time since my New Year's Resolution to blog every weekend, I didn't do it....hence the mid-week post. The reason I didn't is that, for once, I was actually part of a community for a few days again. I went up to Virginia to see my daughter, who was visiting a friend in grad school. The friend lives in a house with five other young women, and it was so great to feel like a part of a group again for a change. I think the thing I like the best is that, when you want to go to a farmer's market, or a movie, or a swimming pool, there is almost always someone there who wants to go with you.
I've been a part of a community many times over the years, like during school, or when working at Goodwill when I was in my twenties, or when creating the resource center in Kennesaw where we worked with homeschoolers for nine years...but I've also experienced a lot of alone-ness...Note this is somewhat different than loneliness...the more you know yourself, and the more connected you are to God, the more alone-ness you can tolerate without giving way to loneliness. Still, connections are important, and I crave more of them.
When my kids were little, in a lot of ways, they were my community. I remember, back then, though, that I often craved a little adult companionship to balance it out. Every once in awhile, I'd experience true fellowship with other homeschoolers, or sometimes other adults that weren't homeschoolers. Once Steve was on a baseball team that travelled a lot, so I got to really know the other moms and dads in a deeper way, but this was the exception, rather than the rule.
I also remember how envious I was once when I met a homeschooling group of moms down in Florida who really had developed the kind of community I was craving. They met every week at somebody's house, and talked and laughed until the wee hours of the morning. Although plenty of groups try to do this, it seems hard to get everybody to commit and stick around long enough to develop deep friendships...For those of you who do already have this, treasure it!
One of our goals with ARCHERS is to stimulate this kind of community among homeschooling moms. We don't want to step in and take over if you already have this kind of experience. However, I am finding that it is difficult to help, because people either already have it and don't need our help, or are completely clueless as to how to start. I probably get at least one email a week asking if we have an ARCHERS support group in (fill in the blank). When I respond I always say, "Not that I know of, but we'd be happy to help you start one"...Typically, there is no response. Starting something sounds like a lot of work, but back in the early days of the movement, when there were no existing groups, we all started by doing things like tacking up notes at the library or seeking out a couple of people at places like LaLeche League meetings, or food coops. Once we had a small core of people, the groups often grew, sometimes to the point that they became too large and had to either split or change character.
My dream continues to be to create a special retreat/conference center to help people build such communities....In the meantime, I treasure the occasional times when I get to be a part of a group of special women, like I did last week. If any of you are reading this, thanks for the memories!
I've been a part of a community many times over the years, like during school, or when working at Goodwill when I was in my twenties, or when creating the resource center in Kennesaw where we worked with homeschoolers for nine years...but I've also experienced a lot of alone-ness...Note this is somewhat different than loneliness...the more you know yourself, and the more connected you are to God, the more alone-ness you can tolerate without giving way to loneliness. Still, connections are important, and I crave more of them.
When my kids were little, in a lot of ways, they were my community. I remember, back then, though, that I often craved a little adult companionship to balance it out. Every once in awhile, I'd experience true fellowship with other homeschoolers, or sometimes other adults that weren't homeschoolers. Once Steve was on a baseball team that travelled a lot, so I got to really know the other moms and dads in a deeper way, but this was the exception, rather than the rule.
I also remember how envious I was once when I met a homeschooling group of moms down in Florida who really had developed the kind of community I was craving. They met every week at somebody's house, and talked and laughed until the wee hours of the morning. Although plenty of groups try to do this, it seems hard to get everybody to commit and stick around long enough to develop deep friendships...For those of you who do already have this, treasure it!
One of our goals with ARCHERS is to stimulate this kind of community among homeschooling moms. We don't want to step in and take over if you already have this kind of experience. However, I am finding that it is difficult to help, because people either already have it and don't need our help, or are completely clueless as to how to start. I probably get at least one email a week asking if we have an ARCHERS support group in (fill in the blank). When I respond I always say, "Not that I know of, but we'd be happy to help you start one"...Typically, there is no response. Starting something sounds like a lot of work, but back in the early days of the movement, when there were no existing groups, we all started by doing things like tacking up notes at the library or seeking out a couple of people at places like LaLeche League meetings, or food coops. Once we had a small core of people, the groups often grew, sometimes to the point that they became too large and had to either split or change character.
My dream continues to be to create a special retreat/conference center to help people build such communities....In the meantime, I treasure the occasional times when I get to be a part of a group of special women, like I did last week. If any of you are reading this, thanks for the memories!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Getting Unstuck, Finding Real Faith
Lately, in one of my jobs in life, being the person everybody calls when they don't know what else to do,(which I don't mind, by the way), I have noticed a definite trend. So many people are getting scared about a large variety of things, some real and close to home, some halfway imaginary and far away, that they are becoming absolutely stuck, and can't figure out what to do next (about almost everything).
Obviously, I have alot of solid Christian friends and relatives, but I also have a lot of non-Christian friends and relatives, and, quite frankly, the only difference I'm seeing between the two groups is a difference in rhetoric. One group gives me various degrees of "Life Sucks and then You Die."...The other is all about "God is good, God has a purpose in all this, God will see us through", etc. But neither group seems capable of figuring out the next move.
You know it is one thing to say the Christian words, and quite another to truly believe, deep down, that everything is going to be okay. The thing is, as much as I do believe, I have never personally experienced a situation where God just threw down money or handed me a job without my going out to look for one. (Not saying he wouldn't be capable of that, just saying it isn't the way he usually works on my behalf.)
So the question is, how does one get unstuck? How does one get over the fear of the unknown and figure out how to take the next step? How does one make that decision, especially if that next step is something scary, like letting your house go back to the bank so you can move on to the next stage of your life?
Since my son Sam never minds me talking about him (unlike a couple of his siblings), I'm going to use our recent interaction as an example. Sam has been stuck, stuck, stuck lately. He had a series of difficult situations to get through, battling cancer and then winding up bankrupt due to medical expenses, and he wound up broke and living at home, unemployed. He came very close to getting his dream job a few months ago, and when it didn't come through, he got into this rut that I'm seeing a lot of other folks in right now....a rut where it is much easier to just sit there and whine about the economy than it is to keep on trying.
The other day we had a talk about how to get out of a rut...in his case, I'm encouraging him to go back and start taking some college credits again, one class at a time..(He was close to his degree when everything started to hit the fan, and now would like to finally finish it...) In addition, he needs to just start handing out the resumes again...no matter how discouraging it may seem. The bottom line is, he has to do something, even if he isn't sure what that is! He will not find a job, or finish his degree, or find more friends, or ultimately create a family of his own, as long as he sits in this house having philosophical discussions with his mother!
In my work as an appraiser, I'm seeing many situations these days where people's lives have gone up in smoke, losing their homes to foreclosure. In many of these houses, you can just feel the anger...people who said to themselves (and I'm guessing to many other people!) ....Ok, you can take my house, but first I"m taking the stove and the dishwasher and all the ceiling fans, and I think I'll just make a few holes in the walls while I'm at it, and maybe I'll take all the copper piping and rip out the tile in the bathrooms....Then the other day I went into a foreclosed home and you could still feel the love in that home. The wallpaper on the children's rooms were still intact, the house had been carefully cleaned up when the family left, and the stove and the dishwasher were still in place. I don't know where that family is today, but I know that the attitude they had in the face of economic troubles will serve them well as they figure out the next step. And I'm willing to bet that God really will be with that family, and will not let them starve.
If you're having troubles, or feel like you're in a rut, just make up your mind to move beyond the "God is good" rhetoric and start really trusting him!!! Then wake up tomorrow and figure out one good thing to do to start moving in a better direction. As usual, I'm partly speaking to myself here. This morning, I had two good things to do...one was to write this blog, and the other was to clean up the patio area...a disgusting job for early on a Sunday morning, but one that had to be done, and now it makes me feel good. Instead of looking out on a winter's worth of debris, I'm looking out on a nice clean patio.
One of my favorite quotes is from an old Amish lady..."Do ye now next thing."....And then the next, and the next, and the next, and one day you will wake up and you will have gotten out of your rut and your difficult situation. Of course, life is a series of difficult situations, so part of the exercise is understanding that this is LIFE...and part of it is learning to have a good time in the midst of the difficulties. So, once again, RELAX...and don't just SAY you're trusting God, really trust God to show you what to do, one step at a time.
Obviously, I have alot of solid Christian friends and relatives, but I also have a lot of non-Christian friends and relatives, and, quite frankly, the only difference I'm seeing between the two groups is a difference in rhetoric. One group gives me various degrees of "Life Sucks and then You Die."...The other is all about "God is good, God has a purpose in all this, God will see us through", etc. But neither group seems capable of figuring out the next move.
You know it is one thing to say the Christian words, and quite another to truly believe, deep down, that everything is going to be okay. The thing is, as much as I do believe, I have never personally experienced a situation where God just threw down money or handed me a job without my going out to look for one. (Not saying he wouldn't be capable of that, just saying it isn't the way he usually works on my behalf.)
So the question is, how does one get unstuck? How does one get over the fear of the unknown and figure out how to take the next step? How does one make that decision, especially if that next step is something scary, like letting your house go back to the bank so you can move on to the next stage of your life?
Since my son Sam never minds me talking about him (unlike a couple of his siblings), I'm going to use our recent interaction as an example. Sam has been stuck, stuck, stuck lately. He had a series of difficult situations to get through, battling cancer and then winding up bankrupt due to medical expenses, and he wound up broke and living at home, unemployed. He came very close to getting his dream job a few months ago, and when it didn't come through, he got into this rut that I'm seeing a lot of other folks in right now....a rut where it is much easier to just sit there and whine about the economy than it is to keep on trying.
The other day we had a talk about how to get out of a rut...in his case, I'm encouraging him to go back and start taking some college credits again, one class at a time..(He was close to his degree when everything started to hit the fan, and now would like to finally finish it...) In addition, he needs to just start handing out the resumes again...no matter how discouraging it may seem. The bottom line is, he has to do something, even if he isn't sure what that is! He will not find a job, or finish his degree, or find more friends, or ultimately create a family of his own, as long as he sits in this house having philosophical discussions with his mother!
In my work as an appraiser, I'm seeing many situations these days where people's lives have gone up in smoke, losing their homes to foreclosure. In many of these houses, you can just feel the anger...people who said to themselves (and I'm guessing to many other people!) ....Ok, you can take my house, but first I"m taking the stove and the dishwasher and all the ceiling fans, and I think I'll just make a few holes in the walls while I'm at it, and maybe I'll take all the copper piping and rip out the tile in the bathrooms....Then the other day I went into a foreclosed home and you could still feel the love in that home. The wallpaper on the children's rooms were still intact, the house had been carefully cleaned up when the family left, and the stove and the dishwasher were still in place. I don't know where that family is today, but I know that the attitude they had in the face of economic troubles will serve them well as they figure out the next step. And I'm willing to bet that God really will be with that family, and will not let them starve.
If you're having troubles, or feel like you're in a rut, just make up your mind to move beyond the "God is good" rhetoric and start really trusting him!!! Then wake up tomorrow and figure out one good thing to do to start moving in a better direction. As usual, I'm partly speaking to myself here. This morning, I had two good things to do...one was to write this blog, and the other was to clean up the patio area...a disgusting job for early on a Sunday morning, but one that had to be done, and now it makes me feel good. Instead of looking out on a winter's worth of debris, I'm looking out on a nice clean patio.
One of my favorite quotes is from an old Amish lady..."Do ye now next thing."....And then the next, and the next, and the next, and one day you will wake up and you will have gotten out of your rut and your difficult situation. Of course, life is a series of difficult situations, so part of the exercise is understanding that this is LIFE...and part of it is learning to have a good time in the midst of the difficulties. So, once again, RELAX...and don't just SAY you're trusting God, really trust God to show you what to do, one step at a time.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Remembering other people and times on Memorial Day
This Memorial Day weekend I'm having trouble keeping myself cheerful because, compared to other times of my life, especially when I was surrounded by little children, I feel so alone....Yet, tucked down deep in my heart are so many memories of other places and other times. When I feel all alone, I know that I'm not really alone, since God is there, and since all these other loved ones are still deep inside and have become part of me, as I have become part of them. I also know that the day is coming, fairly soon, when I will once again be surrounded by a community, as ARCHERs proceeds with its plans for developing a rural conference center. Today, though, I will have to be content with my plans, as well as my memories.
To start with, there was my father, a veteran of World War II, a casualty of the Great Depression, who never really found himself after all he went through...Still, I know I got a lot of my intelligence and curiosity from him, and, in a round about way, I even developed a lot of my spirituality through him, even if it was just noticing the mistakes he made along the way. I can still see him walking up a ladder with two piles of shingles on either shoulder. He has been gone from earth for almost 40 years, but his presence is still with me every day. So glad I was able to forgive him long ago....or the memories would have ruined my life instead of helping me grow.
Three years ago, my mother died...Wish I could be up there at her grave this weekend putting flowers on it, but I can't run up to Wisconsin whenever I feel like it, especially with gas prices what they are. She will always be a part of me, the little voice inside my head that keeps me on track, both encouraging me and telling me when I am messing up. Most of my personal strength comes from knowing that I came from a line of strong women, starting with her mother, who raised five children (and lost 3 others) in a house with no indoor plumbing or electricity, up in northern Wisconsin where heat is not exactly optional...I think of my grandmother every time I go out to garden. I have the privilege of doing it for fun, and not worrying about who gets to eat it, me or the rabbits. If her garden didn't grow, her family starved.
When I think of my own mother, I am so grateful that I didn't let minor things, like her disapproval of our homeschooling, or her efforts to prevent me from publishing a particular book, get in the way of our continued relationship. It would have been so easy to just get angry and turn away sometimes...but we both persevered and manage to retrieve our joy, despite several angry and hurtful moments. In the end, we parted the best of friends, the kind of friendship that can only develop out of the early mother-daughter relationship.
More than anything, this Memorial weekend, I am missing my daughters. I'm used to having kids run off to places like Korea and Thailand, but before this it was always for a limited time. Now my youngest daughter has left to get married in England, and there is no guarantee she will ever again live nearby. My oldest daughter is now living in Portland, Oregon, but in two weeks we get to see each other in Virginia at the home of a friend....sure looking forward to that!
As women, we find that we are always going into or out of some phase, and always needing to reinvent ourselves. I believe women do that much better than men, and are capable of being flexible and going with the flow more than men, too. In order to be happy for Laura, I have to once again reinvent myself. Up to this point, I have been out of the country three times. Once was when I was 12, and went on a trip with my drill team up to Canada. The second time was a trip to Kenya to speak at a homeschool conference, and the third time was a trip to Korea to see my kids who lived there and to speak at a large workshop. They were all fun times, but they all seemed like aberrations, way outside my comfort zone. Now I have to actually become a world traveler. Next year, I have two trips scheduled, one to Thailand to see my son who works at an international school, and one to England to attend Laura's wedding.
I know I'm just rambling today....but I wanted to thank all the dear ones I've mentioned, as well as the people I don't even remember, who have influenced my life and touched me all these years. I wish I could be with every one of you this weekend, but instead I will have to hold your memories in my heart and make some plans to look forward to, while doing a good job at whatever God puts in my hands today.
Have a good Memorial Day with your friends and families! For all you homeschooling moms out there, enjoy the time together with your little ones...the best times of your life are the ones you are going through right now, even if it does feel overwhelming at times!
To start with, there was my father, a veteran of World War II, a casualty of the Great Depression, who never really found himself after all he went through...Still, I know I got a lot of my intelligence and curiosity from him, and, in a round about way, I even developed a lot of my spirituality through him, even if it was just noticing the mistakes he made along the way. I can still see him walking up a ladder with two piles of shingles on either shoulder. He has been gone from earth for almost 40 years, but his presence is still with me every day. So glad I was able to forgive him long ago....or the memories would have ruined my life instead of helping me grow.
Three years ago, my mother died...Wish I could be up there at her grave this weekend putting flowers on it, but I can't run up to Wisconsin whenever I feel like it, especially with gas prices what they are. She will always be a part of me, the little voice inside my head that keeps me on track, both encouraging me and telling me when I am messing up. Most of my personal strength comes from knowing that I came from a line of strong women, starting with her mother, who raised five children (and lost 3 others) in a house with no indoor plumbing or electricity, up in northern Wisconsin where heat is not exactly optional...I think of my grandmother every time I go out to garden. I have the privilege of doing it for fun, and not worrying about who gets to eat it, me or the rabbits. If her garden didn't grow, her family starved.
When I think of my own mother, I am so grateful that I didn't let minor things, like her disapproval of our homeschooling, or her efforts to prevent me from publishing a particular book, get in the way of our continued relationship. It would have been so easy to just get angry and turn away sometimes...but we both persevered and manage to retrieve our joy, despite several angry and hurtful moments. In the end, we parted the best of friends, the kind of friendship that can only develop out of the early mother-daughter relationship.
More than anything, this Memorial weekend, I am missing my daughters. I'm used to having kids run off to places like Korea and Thailand, but before this it was always for a limited time. Now my youngest daughter has left to get married in England, and there is no guarantee she will ever again live nearby. My oldest daughter is now living in Portland, Oregon, but in two weeks we get to see each other in Virginia at the home of a friend....sure looking forward to that!
As women, we find that we are always going into or out of some phase, and always needing to reinvent ourselves. I believe women do that much better than men, and are capable of being flexible and going with the flow more than men, too. In order to be happy for Laura, I have to once again reinvent myself. Up to this point, I have been out of the country three times. Once was when I was 12, and went on a trip with my drill team up to Canada. The second time was a trip to Kenya to speak at a homeschool conference, and the third time was a trip to Korea to see my kids who lived there and to speak at a large workshop. They were all fun times, but they all seemed like aberrations, way outside my comfort zone. Now I have to actually become a world traveler. Next year, I have two trips scheduled, one to Thailand to see my son who works at an international school, and one to England to attend Laura's wedding.
I know I'm just rambling today....but I wanted to thank all the dear ones I've mentioned, as well as the people I don't even remember, who have influenced my life and touched me all these years. I wish I could be with every one of you this weekend, but instead I will have to hold your memories in my heart and make some plans to look forward to, while doing a good job at whatever God puts in my hands today.
Have a good Memorial Day with your friends and families! For all you homeschooling moms out there, enjoy the time together with your little ones...the best times of your life are the ones you are going through right now, even if it does feel overwhelming at times!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Rabbits and squirrels and deer...oh my.
It's gardening time again in the deep south. Just went to "customer appreciation day" at Pike's Nursery and came back with three new rose bushes to plant. I've always loved gardening, but I could have done without the little rabbit sitting there looking right at me while I was setting my new little tomato plants and eggplants over by the garden. I'm surprised he waited until I got in the house to chow down.
Last year the deer got my corn, the raccoons took the tomatoes and watermelons every time one got ripe, the squirrels dug up my corn (while I was planting it) and the rabbits ate all the beans. I got one pepper and a couple of eggplants to eat out of an entire summer of getting up early to water.
What does this have to with education, which is usually the point of this blog? Just this....I can't get angry at the little critters, and, in fact, am purposely planting the food knowing they are going to eat it. Why? Because I read one too many books about little animals and gardens, both when I was a child and when my kids were little...from Beatrix Potter to Thornton Burgess to Robert Lawson...these authors affected me more than almost any other experiences in my life.
Read to your kids....its a whole lot more lasting than anything else that might look more educational...and while you are at it, plant a garden this spring....Even if you, like me, wind up getting very little food out of it, you will learn an immense amount just by having the experience of digging in the dirt.
Last year the deer got my corn, the raccoons took the tomatoes and watermelons every time one got ripe, the squirrels dug up my corn (while I was planting it) and the rabbits ate all the beans. I got one pepper and a couple of eggplants to eat out of an entire summer of getting up early to water.
What does this have to with education, which is usually the point of this blog? Just this....I can't get angry at the little critters, and, in fact, am purposely planting the food knowing they are going to eat it. Why? Because I read one too many books about little animals and gardens, both when I was a child and when my kids were little...from Beatrix Potter to Thornton Burgess to Robert Lawson...these authors affected me more than almost any other experiences in my life.
Read to your kids....its a whole lot more lasting than anything else that might look more educational...and while you are at it, plant a garden this spring....Even if you, like me, wind up getting very little food out of it, you will learn an immense amount just by having the experience of digging in the dirt.
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